Was alone at home in the afternoon. Sometimes you require time..to think for yourself. I wonder what is it about we humans that we always venture into situations which are dangerous; into situations that are doomed with failure?
Is there anything such as will and free-choice in this thing called " LIFE". Is life a chagrin for everyone? Is life predertimed for us in each step; with one choice leading to a consice conclusion? Are we our own enemies?
'A' says I have always been judgemental. Mebbe. There are certain things that I would NEVA do, because "I" feel it is wrong. Is it wrong to lay your own rules and live by them? There are certain things about me that 'A' denounces. He deprecates most of my princilpes. Wot the heck? Y is it so important that rules made by me should be in consensus with him? I am not asking him to live his life on rules made by me.!!!
I wonder was life always like that or I have just smelled reality, or is it that just in recent times the world has become a shaky place to live. You confront the situations that you always wanted to avoid, the people whom you love the most would just walk past (read as over) you, your best buddy will stab you from behind. And then when you introspect deep within, u'd realize that there is a dark side inside you too. Your cryptic twin..the devil you always condemned.
Even when your head tells you something, your heart, the most trusted organ, whom you trust upon to lead you through , will be a traitor. The heart..it welcomes an unknown vistor, who speaks lies with such diligence, disembarks your life, and challenges you to deny your true feelings.
What is the best thing to do? How does one learn when there are no guidelines? When all the advice you receive and all the Literature tells you to listen to your heart, but your HEAD, the practical one...would not allow you to take the necessary steps and allow you to rest in peace. When life hangs suspended, actions comes to a halt and you are on guard constantly. I have been spending so much of time these days on the fringes of sanity and the best part is it is not funny anymore.
I am tired of finding explanations and rational interpretations. I wish I knew, like so many other things, but right now I am backtracking. I am way too lost in fighting my own self. I am my own worst enemy.
Is there anything such as will and free-choice in this thing called " LIFE". Is life a chagrin for everyone? Is life predertimed for us in each step; with one choice leading to a consice conclusion? Are we our own enemies?
'A' says I have always been judgemental. Mebbe. There are certain things that I would NEVA do, because "I" feel it is wrong. Is it wrong to lay your own rules and live by them? There are certain things about me that 'A' denounces. He deprecates most of my princilpes. Wot the heck? Y is it so important that rules made by me should be in consensus with him? I am not asking him to live his life on rules made by me.!!!
I wonder was life always like that or I have just smelled reality, or is it that just in recent times the world has become a shaky place to live. You confront the situations that you always wanted to avoid, the people whom you love the most would just walk past (read as over) you, your best buddy will stab you from behind. And then when you introspect deep within, u'd realize that there is a dark side inside you too. Your cryptic twin..the devil you always condemned.
Even when your head tells you something, your heart, the most trusted organ, whom you trust upon to lead you through , will be a traitor. The heart..it welcomes an unknown vistor, who speaks lies with such diligence, disembarks your life, and challenges you to deny your true feelings.
What is the best thing to do? How does one learn when there are no guidelines? When all the advice you receive and all the Literature tells you to listen to your heart, but your HEAD, the practical one...would not allow you to take the necessary steps and allow you to rest in peace. When life hangs suspended, actions comes to a halt and you are on guard constantly. I have been spending so much of time these days on the fringes of sanity and the best part is it is not funny anymore.
I am tired of finding explanations and rational interpretations. I wish I knew, like so many other things, but right now I am backtracking. I am way too lost in fighting my own self. I am my own worst enemy.
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