Happy New Year 2008 - Everyone.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

MAY YOU REAP TRUE BLESSINGS THIS YEAR 2008 FOR YOURSELF, YOUR FAMILY, AND YOUR HOME.

MAY YOU BE HAPPY AND CONTENT WITH WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE IN THE ORDER OF THINGS IN LIFE.

MAY YOU BASK IN THE JOYS OF ACHIEVEMENT AND SUCCESS -- APPRECIATE ITS TRUE WORTH AND BLESSING.

Merry Christmas to you, my friends.

To you, my dear friends, I wish you the best of the Holiday season.

May the love and blessings of God pour down upon you and your families, respectively, not only this Christmas but all through your life.

Merry Christmas

The year that was.....

During our first talking sessions, Anish and I knew what kind of relationship we desired, but it has taken us more than vision to bring it to realization. We were up against conditioned patterns and lifelong habits. Neutralizing them would take practice, devotion, and time. Determined that we could do it, WE held fast to our vision and commitment.

Many factors contributed to the difficulties we experienced, particularly during the early months of our marriage. And then there were all the vast differences between us. In most personality traits, we represent opposite ends of the spectrum : I am detailed-oriented, Anish is a generalist; I favor strict parenting, he doesn't; I go to bed early, he stays up late; I'm a talker, he's a thinker; I manage money, he spends it. The list goes on, but you get the idea.

In the early months of our marriage, because neither of us knew how to deal with our differences, we frequently found ourselves in conflict. It wasn't the differences themselves that kept getting us in trouble, but our reactions to them. Like many couples, we attempted to do away with our differences by trying to change each other or ourselves. Homogenizing our personalities, and thus eliminating the sources of conflict, seemed at the time to be a good idea.

This strategy, we were to eventually discover, doesn't work. Instead, it produced further conflict, both within ourselves and between us.

Even the strongest bonds, however, are not immune to the toll that ongoing struggles can impose on the relationship. We knew there had to be another way, and that helped us make the leap from tolerating our differences to appreciating them. We knew, at least intellectually, that it was these differences that had drawn us and made us attractive to each other. Thus we discovered that what drove us crazy about each other and what we were crazy about in each other were one and the same thing. The challenge was neither to try to change the other nor be willing to change for them, but rather to honor our own uniqueness. The experiences that brought us to our knees made us the people we are, and the learning and recovery that went along with each one have shaped our relationship into the treasure it is now. Through the many unskillful ways we treated each other, we learned the meaning of true respect. More than any other relationship, marriage has the potential to awaken our deepest longings and needs, as well as our deepest pains and fears

Today we completed ONE YEAR of Marriage. Of togetherness, of fighting, of loving, of smiles and of compromises.

To you, with all my love:

Thank you for all the love that has sustained us through the ordeals, the power struggle and the disappointments. We shared experiences as a couple and as a family that were joyous beyond measure.

Happy Anniversary!

Happy Diwali and a prosperous New Year.

Here comes Diwali with all its auspicious grandeur.

May this festival of light and sound fill your life with joy, prosperity and success.

Weighty issues.

Me: How do I put on some weight, Anish? What do I do?’

Anish (My husband): ‘For starters try not throwing your weight around at home.’

Me :-(

I have so much to say...

There's so much to say, I don't know even know where to begin. I can't believe it's June, it was just January yesterday. And December the day before that. Where are all the days going? How I wish there was some way I could record every moment, every day somewhere. If not all, atleast those moments that have made a difference. The thing is, there are so many of them, but not quite enuf. Somehow, just not quite enough.

We're such sad species. We want company when we don't want it. And when we have the company we yearned for just a day ago, which seemed like months ago, we can't wait to get away from it. And still we claim to be the most evolved species. Somehow, that never made sense some time ago. May be it does. No, it just doesn't. Sure it does!

How often we outgrow r'ships. How we look for ways to escape what we wanted just last night, a lifetime ago. How we look for people, ways and things to change our perception of tomorrow, and still, when the change is round the bend, are too scared to grab it. How we make excuses for people who let us down. How we pretend we don't need anyone and yet, somewhere in our minds, if not in our hearts, that maybe we really don't. Nothing changes, just nothing at all, yet people do. How can that be possible, I wonder. I keep on wondering, never quite finding an answer, but hoping that someday , somehow I will.

How we lean on pillars and yet pretend that our spine will do quite well, thank you. And how we ignore the same pillars once we've left them behind. How we try to bribe those we love with thoughtless gestures, only because we are too guilty of betraying them, but not wanting to own up. How we are susceptible to human frailties like everyone else.

How we always say that no one has all the answers in a way that suggests that "I KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO AT THIS PRECISE MOMENT". How we look for validation from those who have hurt us as well as our own, all because we didn't think it's enough that we love and are loved. How we want our yesterdays so desperately, because it completely takes away out thoughts of tomorrow from focus. Time is damn never on our side, and when we do realize it , if we ever do, it's always, all the freaking-time too late.

There is still so much to say to you today, and all of a sudden, I don't even know what to say to you anymore. Even after saying so much!

Rain Drops.

It rained again today. I love rain. The aromatic breath that escapes the dry lips of a sun scorched earth as the raindrops fall and scatter. The feeling of rain drops falling on my face as I close my eyes, turn my face up, letting them caress my face, is blissful. I love sitting by the window with a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate) and watch raindrops weave intricate and sublime patterns on the window pane, as if writing poetry in their own language.



Rain drops make for a wonderful time pass when they drip slowly off the leaves. Each pearl drop of sadness or of joy intermingled with each other. Like moments of life..they fall and fall....not waiting for anyone..in a gentle rush to break into so many of the same and then reunite to become one.

The last of the drops are hanging off the leaves. they let go of each other to land on the puddle with a final plop. I stretch my neck out for one last time to urge a drop to fall on my nose tip..but it falls on to my eyes where dream starts, where reality ends a million images flash by. Pure unadulterated joy all over my face...so many yesterdays..... and the passing today.... I can see my own life passing by.....I want to ask it to stop but it is unreachable and untouchable. I stand helpless and the last of the drops fall from the eaves...... plop.

Spending time alone.

As strange as this sounds, I DO sometimes enjoy spending time alone. I enjoy my own solitude to unwind and decompress.


Solitude, I say, doesn't necessarily mean lonliness.

There are times when I sit by myself, look out with unobservant eyes to the distance before me or just sit still..for that brief moment the world seems more clearer and easier to perceive. Life becomes more defined. In the silence of my own pace and time, I take the opportunity to study on those big questions and issues without any interruptions. Nor do I need to take into consideration other people's opinons and perceptions which anyway don't comply with my own. So in my tiny 'world' where I am free to be me, free to pose many more questions, pursue new ones, free to poke at the wrong things happening, turn them around, test them, rethink and rewrite them. That's all upto me! :-). It's in my hands to throw up all the meories without having to listen to someone else's arguments or influence on the choices I make. So I need my solitude. I need to sweep away all those cobwebs in my mind and refresh myself. Away from the maddening crowd - in a place of peace and calm. I need my inner space to allow my ideas to germinate and to harness my fond dreams to take shape. I need time to connect with my soul.

With dozens of chores to run, I would often wail there's not enough hours in a day for everything. So that 'special' day I figured 'alone time'. I became so attached to it. Yes - it's my oasis, my blanket, my secured shell - all rolled up into one. It feels like 'heaven' when I'm there.

Honestly, people ..'Alone time' has never as fun as this for me.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

"Whatever you are, be a good one", quotes Abraham Lincoln.

A friend emailed raving about how things aren't working at all or the way she had envisioned. She feels that she's come up to this huge blank wall - facing problems about jobs, relationships and all other odd things life throws our each day. She thinks the magic word is somewhere out there and yet so well hidden - and if she finds it everything will be alright. But will it? If it were to be that way then I, my parents and other generations before them would have surely found that 'magic' and enjoyed utopia in their lives, then and even now.

No, it's not out there. We are such shortsighted people with minds 'out there'. It's always that the grass is on the other side of the fence, the big break, chance, opportunity is 'out there' with some other guy. It works that way for some. They go 'out there' to achieve their goals and come home with the prize. But to many it doesn't happen that way and hence the self-bashing because they don't get whatever-it-is.

We often undervalue what we have - what we are - who we are. Why? Why is it so hard to appreciate ourselves? Why do we think so low of ourselves and highly of others whose talents are similar with ours (or better)? Do the talents we have look better wearing their face than ours?

Say do you really know yourself? Do you know your strengths and your weaknesses? How do you perform under stress or in failures? Do you push yourself under the fire when there is no one pushing you? How do you work on your skills to grab that big fat break you're hoping for and which will surely come one day?

You answers to the above will show what you truly are. Whatever you are - a student working towards better grades, a clerk working on piles of paper work, a sweeper or other things you find yourself doing - BE GOOD IN IT. Always be good in what you are doing, at the top rank or at the bottom. Be the best of what you are and what you can be.

It's simple. A good attitude or character will always open up new opportunities and doors - the same that would be closed for people with small minds and twisted character. It's always the good job done by a good person that leaves an impression and finishes the race and wins the prize. So be that good guy, whoever you are and whatever you are. The good always wins where it matters most, always. So open your eyes to all the good people around you and see what works for them.

The magic is not 'out there' - It's in YOU. Believe in yourself and in your potentials. They are God-gifted and for a definite purpose. Just harness it. And you'll surely get there, one day!

Happy Holi.

Wishing all of you a very Happy Holi.

Not bidding Good-Bye!

I received a comment on my last post from someone asking me whether I have quit blogging.
No, I am not bidding good-bye to anyone from the blogger world. This has been a lovely journey and I thank each one for the wonderful messages you wrote on my blog and the warmth of your friendship.

I am currently travelling and hence have not updated this space. I will be back but at some time I don't know yet. This blog will surely remain open for as long as it may. This is your space too, afterall :-)

Love always,
Nikita.

How do you measure?

There's so much that goes in our lives that we often get lost in it. But no matter what there is a certain point where we come to a stop, and see how far we have come, what have we done, and where are we heading to. People say, "what matters is today" and one should not bother to look back. But, I think that's a lie. I know that in the dead of the night when we are all alone and things don't work the way we want them to, we think about it, we ponder, we do ask questions. We DO look back and we also DO think about tomorrow. As we stand in the present we wonder how do we measure the years that have passed.

How is it measured??

Tears
Joys
Laughs
Sadness
Bills
Report Cards
Sunsets
Daylights
Midnights
Cups of coffee
The life with friends
Truth that we learned
Bridges we burnt
Forgivness
Smiles
Everytime we said 'Thank You' or 'Sorry'
Or how we love?

Yes, It is measured in love. In how we love others unselfishly, in how we love ourselves and sometimes not, and in how we receive love or foolishly won't. Love is the measure of how we live our lives, no matter what.

How do you measure?

It rained here today.

On a day like this you don't want anything else

But to be held close and warm

Nothing said

Just lie peaceful in your arms.

Wishing all of you a very Happy New Year.

Mrs.Nikita
Feels good
It's so damn cold here. It is 7 degrees.
Here I mean USA
It can also be called deep-freezer.

It's not so cold in Mumbai. It is a blessed 21 degrees there.

16th December 2006
I got married

27th December 2006
Technically, I left my city behind.

...came across strangers who speak familiar words.

Thus it goes on..
New country
New people
AND the goddamn cold.

Me and my thougts in a different bowl.