Platonic relationships.

For years this matter has left many to ponder and wonder.



A relationship between two people of the opposite sex, where emotions are kept under wraps, passions don't rage, like a river bank; both of them, running parallel, going through all the rough and tumble togther, witnessing, suffering and rejoicing all the pain, sorrow and happiness.



Do relationships like these really exist? Do they stand the test of time? Is it a coverup or an impossibilty? Or it is a comfortable ground where two people form lasting bonds that grow stronger with age? Do you think a man and a woman can connect on a "platonic level" without any side effects?

Why is it that I end up with weirdoes as friends?



F gets up in the morning, hurries through her shower and heads for work. Half way through she realises that she has forgotten to eat her breakfast and has also forgotten to comb her hair. So standing at the door of a Virar local, she requests a girl standing next to her to catch her bag while she combs her hair, only to realize after a few brush strokes that her hair is blowing away with the wind and are getting entangled!



The second one, let's call her 'A'. She is best known as 'The-always-late' employee. No matter how hard she tries, she just can't get to work (or anywhere else) on time. She gets into work only to find out that her Project Leader (PL) has asked her to shift on a desk right opposit him, everytime she gets up he can see the PL head on. Thankfully, for her, if the PL stands up, he only gets to see 'A's face and not the so-many IE windows. And morever her office filters have blocked all websites except for Yahoo! and Rediff, in the name of religion or society and lifestyles!!!



She goes to the neighbouring floor to speak to her friends about her exacerbated situation. Just as she is about to leave, she sees his PL coming from the opposite direction. She pretends to discuss the project specs and waits for the PL to get into the elevator. And as soon as she sees her PL going, she exclaims out loud "Gaya Idiot, he is a real pain-in-the ass", only to find her Project Manager standing behind her!



This is as unfair as life gets!



Later in the afternoon she is introduced to a new colleague 'S' who happened to be her classmate in the 10th standard. Her travail increased twice as much when she was told that 'S' was not allocated any project and which would happen only in three weeks, and till that time 'S' would sit next to her all the time. Now with 'S' around her frequency of opening Internet Explorer has gone drastically down. She is forced to work while 'S' just stares at the screen.



So at the end of the day she prays to Lord to give her patience and a constipation pill, so that she can mix it with 'S's lunch.



Today morning, she is again late for work. She sleeps in the train and travles all the way to Churchgate instead of getting down at Bandra. Reason - All work and no time pass makes 'A' tired and a dull gurl!



'F' and 'A', my life is so colourful and facetious with the two of you!

How does one know when to give up? When is it really OK to say "I cannot go an anymore and I Quit"? Or is it that one should never give up at all?



I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, he gave an 'nth' attempt to clear the last group of his CA exams this year. And with the result day nearing, he was all agitated and baffled. His entire future, which as of now is amorphous and ambiguous, depends solely upon his results. I tried motivating him with the all time jazz, "don't worry, things will fall in place" etc. During the course of the conversation he told me in a very demure tone that he would quit pursuing CA if he does not clear his exams this time. He was completely befuddled, he didn't know what to do, to keep appearing for CA exams and hoping to clear each time or pursue another Post Graduate or Management course, where there is cut-throat competition but the chances of him not clearing are minimal.



He said he was loosing the battle and that he could not take it anymore, he could not forsee any end to it. He was loosing his self-empowerment. I adviced him against it, like a friend who thought he wasn't thinking rationally.



After a lot of persuading he finally gave in and bought my argument.



There are a lot of people who don't succeed no matter how hard they try, is that an indication that we should stop doing the current thing and explore other options without wasting time? or is that we haven't tried hard enough?



We have so many choices before us, the process of choosing becomes exciting, easier and even exhilarating when we realize who we are and what we want. Isn't success all about challenging your limits and much more? Thoreau advised, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." And visionary William James offered a powerful formula for following through on any important life choice: 1. Be bold. 2. Begin now. 3. No exceptions.



If the coming year is going to be anything, it will be what we make it. As Peter Drucker wisely noted, "The best way to predict the future is to create it."

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

Wishing all you lovely people Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year!

How many times in life have we been in situations where we felt totally out of control because of the result? In situations like these, there are two choices that we have - live with fear or live with faith. Faith, the most poweful thing we are capable of, it is something that cannot be proven. As the old adage goes " What you believe is what you create".



It requires a lot of courage to believe in something that cannot be proven, stepping out of our five senses into a reality of possibility. It takes us to a place where everything is possible with use of imagination and attention.



Belief is the building blocks of experience. Some beliefs are ingrained into our psyche and there are some that we carry with us from the experiences we have. Beliefs, sometimes cause fear, anger, resentment, leaving us imbalanced and in a state of imbecility. Examining your beliefs is the stepping stone to buliding strong faith.



Beliefs allow us to release fear and anxiety around situations; it is an amazing experience on so many levels. It gives us peace and opens the door to many new things in life.

Sometimes loss can the best of things that can happen to someone. I have finally decided to move on. The excess baggae of it all had to crash someday..and it did. Picked up all the debris and locked it firmly. I should have done this much earlier, but I was just being headstrong. Though I admit that you are important to me, but i refuse to dilapidate any more of my life. I refuse to be gullible.



Me thinks that the beauty of life is hidden in the pains that come our way. You can stay in the comfort zone for a relatively long time, the discrepancy is felt when you are out of it. But at the same time you would not want to get back there again.



You carry the journey forward, despite the pain and the imperceptible stains, wanting to try things out, making less number of mistakes, being assertive, taking practical and mature decisions, falling and rising, and continuously struggling.



Dreams are no more amorphous, surprises are not always congenial. But the fact remains that life does not deal in fantasies, only facts remain.



The journey of life is sometimes longest, yet thrilling and a little scary.

Of Coffees and Conversations.

I bumped into a college bumchum on my way to work today and we decided to meet at Barista in the evening. As we sat sipping our steaming coffees, after a few chats of perceptive discussions and objective exchange of thoughts, the conversation automatically turned towards relationships.





It felt light speaking to him, about all the years, for the way it had been, for what it couldn't be. Some lessons are so hard, they break the back and then there is little spine left to stand upto Life again.



There are some relationships that make you better person, you start having a zest for life, they make you live life to the fullest, even while the person is longer around. You bask at the moments spent together and as you move on, you only wish happiness for the love that was lost.



People change over time, their perspectives, attitudes, behaviour, likes, dislikes. The people you turn on to for support, advice and direction turn away. Sometimes things just fall short..love, hate, care, concern..



My close buddies say I have changed...maybe I have, don't know for the better or for worse. I have arrived where I ought to be, leading a life, gifted to me by God for karma-clearance, spirit enhancement, progress; to grow, to learn, to more than anything - evolve and attain the fulfilment of my individual destiny with the person or path destined for me.

Another wedding.

Another close friend got married some days back. The girl was my office colleague, I never knew the guy, had just heard about him. They are a lovely couple, completely and always in love with each other. His parents were against the marriage but they went ahead anyways.



It's so nice to have someone to listen to your dreams, to make you laugh, someone who really cares about you, someone to share your problems and hold you tight when you feel insecure, someone who abides by the decisions he makes, lives by the promises he gives and never lets his love outgrow.



It was an educative week for me, two best friends got married, both love marriages; I learned that there can be happy endings if you believe in each other and care enough for each other. But the hardest part is to find the right person...

Why??

Sometimes it's just so hard to see something that started out with so much promise, wither into nothingness. X had loved Y endlessly and selflessly for 5 years. (I had written about 'X' and 'Y' in my earlier post) But she was not lucky enough to have been loved back in return. The conclusion of their relationship was inevitable from day one. Memories catch her when she least expects them, flipping through old photographs and tracing the outline of faces and moments; she lives them all over again, catching that magical look in a pair of twinkling eyes, she thinks of the moments when she held him closely and tightly, never wanting to let go of him, wishing that time would stand still and she could hold him like that forever.



But even today,



*Why can't she forget his smile, his voice and his face?

*Why is he the first person she thinks about when she has to share matters concerning her?

*Why does she make his B'day a excuse to call/email him?

*Why is he the first person she thinks of when she goes online, inspite of the fact that he has mentioned it to her upteen numbers of times that he doesn't want to talk to her?

*Why does she think about him every time her cell phone rings?

*Why does she pray for his betterment?

*Why does she refuse to believe that he is going steady with someone?

*Why does she compare him to every other guy she meets, and why is he always a cut above the rest?

*Why can't she bear the thought of him touching another one?

*Why does her blood boil when she thinks of his current girl-friend?

*Why does she see thinks pertaining to him with a positive attitude and rose-tinted glasses?

*Why can't she see the messages behind the cruel words that he told her?

*Why does she still want to know everything about him?

*Why can't she believe that he must have forgotten her and that he cares a damn about where and how she is?

*Why does she fantasize that he still cares for her and must be thinking of her on-and-off?



Why is it so difficult for her to accept the fact that it was never meant to be? Sometimes the mind gives you enough reasons on why it was never meant to be, but the heart still cries for what it was and never will be the same again. The relationship that spanned 5 years, built brick by brick came crashing down like a pack of cards, shattering along all the dreams that were built and nutured.



I really wonder what strength it takes for people who take these risks over and over again. They say it gets better with time, maybe it does in some ways. Nothing in this world is permanent and constant, not even misery. But the hardest part is learning to walk again and keeping the faith all along, that there is someone and something better in store for you.