"We are friends and always shall remain", is what he told her.



The most heart-breaking line in the simple (or otherwise) history of break-ups. It came her way, too.



"Dammit, I can't just be friends with you"! She wanted to scream. "You know what I feel for you and having been through so much already, how the hell can you even think of something like that??", she wanted to ask him.



"Ok", is all that she mumbled. That's all she cud say. She didn't have any choice, anyways.



"I can't forsee anyone else in my life and that seperating from you would elude me", she wanted to tell him. She had so much to say to him. But it wudn't make him any difference. She knew that. He had made up his mind. He didn't want anything but friendship from her.



People who were in a binding r'ship earlier, the concept of them being friends after the r'ship is jeopardized, needs to be clarified to me. Even if they went out together (as friends), what would u call it? "Hanging" around or a date? Since the r'ship rights have now been revoked, what is the probability of them talking to each other? How often would they see each other? Where would they draw the line? How should she react when he introduces her to his new "girl-friend" or a potential wifey? So many complex situations.....which need simple answers.



Not wanting to make things worse between them or confront him, she never dared challenge him about it. He never feigned any moderate amount of kindness when he spoke to her, even for her sake. For all the times they shared together. Her misery compounded two-by-four when she discussed this with her new "friend" (earlier boy-friend), he resisted all her efforts, said things about the past that were not relevant and evidenced no particular interest in her. She couldn't bear the "chilling" out on the r'ship, that now had turned into friendship. She was too hassled and got deeper and involved herself too much into things he said.



And finally, he lashed the final N-bomb on her, there's someone else in his life. He talks about their r'ship, about their mutual understandings, their (in)compatibility, et al. Listening to him talking abt his g-f (read as would-be wife) made her feel something, she cudn't exactly place her finger on the emotion. Sadness? Jealousy??....He kept telling her a lot of things, things that her mind din't want to hear. He showed her his wud-be-wife's pics, spoke about their marriage plans..etc. All she could thing was, his wife.... once-upon-a-time she had hoped to covet that position in his life. It felt a lil' odd hearing him talking abt some other woman taking that position. She said, "I am happy for you" with tears streaming down her eyes. That's also what he expected out of her. "You now move on", is what he told her in return.



When the feeling sank in, she realized that she was not happy for him. She wanted him to be hers. She never wanted to be friends with him. She was not deficit of friends in her life. She always had more than friendship on her mind - when it came to him. Always had a garland in her head.



Which is the best way to handle a break-up? Certain set of people say that the break-up shud be clean. You then pick up the peices (read as debris), wave a good-bye, cut all ties and neva look back again. Some say that being "friends" make way for a smoother transition which reduces a fair amount of the pain. How? Can someone pls explain this funda?



How you deal with break-ups, according to me, solely depends on the factors involved for the break-up and the feeling of both the people during that time. If it is mutual, then yes, you can be friends. But can break-ups eva be mutual? If one feels for the other, the friendship would be at the cost of a major heartace for one of the 2 involved.



Wot do u say? Can 2 people be friends or want to be friends, after they've had a close r'ship.??