The Blame Game.

It’s so easy for us to look to others to shoulder our guilt for occurrences in our life. We accuse people around us, be it co-workers, friends, parents, siblings for things that go wrong in our life and also our mate for our inability to sustain a loving relationship. Yet, who’s to blame? Actually no one, because there is a responsibility that each one of us needs to take and it is ours and ours alone.



Who is responsible for the grief and sadness in our life? Who is responsible for the hurdles that we find ourselves facing? Who is responsible for the anger and resentments that we carry within? Who is responsible for the joy and laughter that comes from within us?



The word responsibility consists of two words, mainly response and ability. It is the ability that we have to respond in any way we choose to any given situation.



On so many occasions in our lives, we have been quick to respond with anger, and claim that the opposite person, whoever it may be made us angry. No one can make us angry, except "ourself". If we don't respond to someone's conscious efforts to make us angry, their efforts would be futile.



We are all powerful beings and we always have the choice of how we react and respond to situations and circumstances in our lives. Yet, I have seen in myself and others a tendency to avoid taking the responsibility of actions undertaken by us and trying to place to blame on someone else.



Do we ever relate our point of view with that of the others when confronted with any particular incident or situation? Do we ever surrender to the moment knowing that everything that comes to us is there for us to experience from, learn from, in whatever way we choose?



We are all 100% responsible for our actions. Inspite of that there are some of us who choose to be in misery and pain? Why? Why do we punish ourselves or others for events that have taken place in our life? Aren't we just hurting ourselves by carrying the load of negative feelings within us? Why do we harbor the feelings of anger or hatred in us?



It is better to empty out all the negative feelings and fill our hearts with love, light and positive feelings. It not only makes us feel better but also lightens the environment surrounding us.



With every new day..we shall rise and shine.

My best friend's wedding

Dee is getting married next month. My friendship with Dee has many precious moments, times when we'd strengthen each other's belief in the 'good' after a bad day, times when a chat with her would erase all troubles and tensions, so much so I'd never wanna bid her good bye. We both knew our weaknesses but like friends are,we'd appreciate the finer qualities in each one of us,numerous times we have talked abt our insecurities,shared our vision,dreamt real big,fought and made up.



Here's a list of things on why I love her so much :



*I can by myself, when I'm with her.



*She never makes fun of me, even when I look like a clown.



*We can talk about everything or nothing - It's always okay with her.



*She always seems to know, when things aren't going great.



*She's so dependable and trustworthy.



*'Coz every assuring word from her chases away all my blues.



*She understands me..even when I am sobbing.



*She's as helpful as therapy, but she never charges me for it.



*She brings out the best in me.



*She can read my innermost thoughts.



*For her sensitivity and support.

----------------------------------------------------------------------



"Special times shared with you are precious"



Our life unfolds in hours, days and years,

in warm, remembered moments of joys, hopes and tears.

In dreams come true,in sorrows left behind,

In treasuerd joys we've found and new adventures still to find.

And of the precious moments life unfolds in every day,

the best of all are shared with friends we met along the way.



Because you're a very dear friend

And a special person in my life,

I find myself thinking of all the good memories we've shared...

Each memory is special and

Each one makes me hope

We'll be spending many more good times together

in the days and years ahead.

Chances and Choices.

The greatest things about life are chances - the ones we take and the one ones we miss. They are made out of the values and doctrines imbibed in you and by the rule book of honesty. It could be just about anything...a work spoken, a gesture or even breaking of traditions.



Being caught up in a moment with the person you are attracted to is a chance. But, if you decide to love that person even with his/her faults, that's not a chance. That's a choice.



When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice.



Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen." I do believe that soulmates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not. We may meet our soulmates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmate is still a choice we have to make.



Have you made your choice? Or taken the chance?

Can you have a better start for your day?

1) Your friends send you nasty reminders because you did not reply to their earlier emails.

2) Mom complains about you not spending time at home.

3) Work sucks

4) So does life

As I walk through this journey of life I have..

*learnt to stop judging and pointing fingers and have begun to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties.



*learnt the difference between wanting and needing and have begun to discard the doctrines and values I've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and have learnt to go with my instincts.



*learnt that that it is truly in giving that we receive. There is power and glory in creating and contributing.



*learnt that I don't know everything, it's not my job to save the world and that I can't teach a pig to sing.



*learnt to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.



*learnt about love. How much to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. I must not project my needs or my feelings onto a relationship, look at relationships as they really are and not as I would have them to be.



*learnt to stop controlling people, situations and outcomes. People grow and change and the same stands true for love as well. I can't and neither do I have the right to demand love on my terms..just to make me happy.



*learnt that alone does not mean being lonely.



*stopped working hard at putting my feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring my needs. I have a right to ask for the things I want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.



*learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. Life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.



*learnt that life isn't always fair, we don't always get what we think we deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.



*learnt to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. Learnt to admit when I am wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.





Finally, with courage in my heart and with God by my side I take a stand, take a deep breath and begin to design the life I want to live as best as I can.

What if..

What if you were given an oppourtinity to go back and change on thing about your life, what would it be? I have dwelled on this question on many occassions when nothing made sense, everything went wrong, but till date I have not found an answer. There are times when I am happy, mind seems lighter, all complexitions seemed to be ironed out, these are the times when I don't want to change a thing, it's a feeling that it can't get better than this.



The trouble begins when I am feeling low, when everything seems to go wrong, I keep agonizing over my failures and circumstances demand that I be alone with my own personal space. Everything looks horrible then.



Off late, maybe for the first time in life I am wishing that I could change that one decision that I took some years back. Realistically, there is no point in digging the past and crying over spilt milk, but how I wish that I possessed the maturity then to make the right decision when oppourtinity was not knocking but banging at my door.



Our actions, more often than never, affect someone else's life and we turn a blind eye to the events that are happening. How many of us are responsible adults? How many of us are responsible for our actions? What matters most - the responsibility of our actions or the responsibility towards the person? I really don't know. I am trying to live life my way, just being what I am - relaxed, without tensions, without pretensions and without hypocrisies.

Always Remember

Always remember to forget

The things that made you sad

But never forget to remember

The things that made you glad.



Always remember to forget

The friends that proved untrue.

But don't forget to remember

Those that have stuck by you.



Always remember to forget

The troubles that have passed away.

But never forget to remember

The blessings that come each day.

Veer-Zaara.

Finally, the wait is over. Yash Chopra, the maestro of romance, returns with his cross border romance flick.



Saw a late afternoon show of the much awaited movie. It's not entirely inedible. You got to watch it like any other Yash Chopra film – with your eyes and heart wide open. Like any other Yash Chopra film, it has oodles of open-air romance, sensual chemistry between the lovers and teary-eyed emotionality.

It has multiple cameras zooming in and out of mustard and sunflower fields, gushing waterfalls, snow-clad mountains and untimely rains, it has its hero and heroine running towards each other from opposite directions to give that one passionate embrace.



Preity does a good job at playing a Yash Chopra heroine: She looks dreamy and plays the character of Zaara with grace and restraint. While Rani Mukherjee walks away with the best lines and a performance full of grit. The songs are completely blended into the movie, the songs are pure poetry and the lyrics magnificent.



So what if Veer-Zaara is not really a legendary, memorable blah blah, saga of love and blah blah. So what if it is not even among Yash Chopra's best works. It is poised to make big bucks at the box office and may even pick an award or two next year. So if you are a fan of the Chopra factory of filmmaking and looking for plenty of eye-candy, Veer-Zaara promises to make your Diwali a happy one.

Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year.

To all fella bloggers across the globe:



May Ganesha shower u with His choicest blessings today and forever.

May this festival of lights bring tons of joy, happiness, prosperity, luck & warmth in your lives.

May success be yours and time favours you.

May opportunities knock your door whole year throughout and you make best use of that.

May you get all the inner strength to fight the odds, year across.

May all the happy moments be here to cherish forever.

Shubh Deepavali ..... light the lamps of love & affection.



Happy Deepawali!

An Umbilical Bond.

A Mother is :



A DENTIST who uses a string.

A SUNSHINE on a cloudy day.

A STORY TELLER when you can't get to sleep.

A HAIR STYLIST on the night of the prom.

A DOCTOR who cures poison ivy.

A TEACHER who teaches about life.

A SEAMSTRESS who patches torn jeans.

A COMEDIAN who makes you laugh when you're down.

A CHEERLEADER at all sports activities.

A NURSE who bandages a scraped knee.

A ARTIST who teaches finger painting.

A LAUNDRY LADY who keeps you dressed so nice.

A BAKER who makes chocolate chip cookies.

A TUTOR who helps with homework.

A COUNSELOR who gives guidance.

A CLEANING LADY who finds the bedroom floor.

A TOOTH FAIRY who rewards you for your pain.

A HEALER of your first broken heart.

A CHAUFFEUR for all social events.

A DISHWASHER who never complains.

A SELF-ESTEEM BUILDER for everyone.

A COOK who keeps the meals balanced.

A DREAM CATCHER who helps find dreams.

A KLEENEX that dries the tears.

A KEY that unlocks the door to the future.

A JUDGE who makes decisions with wisdom.

A PARTY PLANNER who makes you popular.

A SINGER who taught childhood songs.

A LIGHT that guides through dark moments.

An EGO BUILDER, picking you up when you're down.

A DRUGGIST who knows the cure for your pain.

A PRAYING HANDS that guide spiritually.

A GUARDIAN ANGEL who keeps you safe.

A FRIEND who puts real meaning into "I Love You"!

God Speak to me !! - By Ravindra Kumar Karnani

"The child whispered, 'God, speak to me'

And a meadow lark sang.

The child did not hear.



So the child yelled, 'God, speak to me!'

And the thunder rolled across the sky

But the child did not listen.



The child looked around and said,'God let me see you'

and a star shone brightly

But the child did not notice.



And the child shouted,'God show me a miracle!'

And a life was born

but the child did not know.



So the child cried out in despair,

'Touch me God, and let me know you are here!

'Whereupon God reached down

And touched the child.

But the child brushed the butterfly away And walked away unknowingly."



(This poem was originally written in the Hindi language.)

I've realized that...

*It's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.



* That I am not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of me or what I am... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions).



*People don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for me.



*The way I view myself, and the world around me, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into me psyche. And I have begun to sift through all the crap I've been fed about how I should behave, how I should look, how much I should weigh, what I should wear, where I should shop, what I should do for a living, who I should marry, what I should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what I owe my parents.



*It's time I open up to new worlds and different points of view and I have been reassessing and redefining who I am and what I really stand for.



*Principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.



*Negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate life and poison the universe.

Quote of the day ....

"Willpower is the ability to resist temptation until you are sure no one's looking" ;-)

Maybe Tommorrow.....

Today was silent.

Things were different.

Things felt different.

No obvious difference.

A change of direction.

I can guess where I need to stand now.

I see the tide comming in high.

Can' t wait for the waves to clash at my shore to

Take away all the garbage, moulded past from my sands.



The tide takes its time to come in.

It can take a long time - sometimes.

I was hoping to see the first white unicorn gallopping towards me today -

From a distance at least.

No, only silence and a grey, wild ocean in the distance.

Stormridden still.



Maybe tomorrow I can see my ocean comming closer.

Maybe its waves will break the silence of today.

Maybe the day after tomorrow will pour the precious water over me.

Cleansing me from all sins, from all pain.

Releasing me from all horrible memories.

Comming to restore what was covered in mud and dirt,

Tortured by elements which weren' t meant to interfere.

Healing me with a love which is meant to last as long as rivers run to the sea...