Realized today....

.....a house, alone, can never ever make a home!"

.....and that your lover is not the one who would come in shining armour and sweep you off the floor but the one who would help you sweep the floor, once in a while.

Another year.....

.....of life is passing by. For good.

Life is full of lessons. So many of them. Each one of us learns only after the game is over. I am scared of lessons, as much as I did when in school. My parents kept telling me, "If you learn now, you will benefit later". I take on the role of a parent and offer the same advice to myself each time. The child in me will never head and all I have to do is plead.

There are certain lessons that are so hard, the only way to remember them is to memorize them. I try and look for some reasoning, some logical pattern, but I am not good at these subjects. One ha to pay penalities for growing older. I do everything that's possible to get rid of the problem. Only to be arrived at a satisfactory xplanation. Only to sheild myself incase a similar problem presents itself in the future. Only to make the burden of the lesson a little easier to bear.

But, no such luck. I feel I am not acquainted with the mental tools to deal with it or the problem itself defies existing laws.

There were other lessons; particularly enlightening ones. Now I see all those paths that were not in view earlier, where I thought there were none.

All in all, in these few months I have grown wiser and not just older. I can now understand when the great man said, “the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life”.

Love Marriages vs. Arranged Marriages.

This was one of the topics that was on my mind since a long time, but I never ended up discussing it here.

It's really funny the way our opinions keep changing. Being an absoulutely conventional-minded person right from my cradle, I always was in favour of arranged marriages. I don't recall what exactly my arguments were in favour of them, but the fact that my parents had an arranged marriage (father-like-son syndrome) may have everything to do with it. However, my opinions changed some years ago.

Coming to the present, I would not vote for any. I fail to understand how a 'type' of marriage can guarantee success or failure of it.

I know of people who give examples of certain successful marriages, and some who give examples of love relationships that turned into matrimony. There are many examples to the opposite effect too in both cases, but these they would claim as exceptions, depending upon the side they are favouring.

I have come to believe that be it a love marriage or an arranged one, both hold equal changes, as long as certain ingredients are present and maintained.

If two people in a r'ship confess themselves in love with each other, I would have wondered on the reasons why a marriage between these two people was successful. It cud have been just pure luck. They may continue to be in love with each other for however long, but don't they also say, "Love is blind"?. In this blind state the couple would carry on accepting and madnifying each other's perfections and ignoring the not-so-desirable traits, and then one day reality, or rather, marriage, sets in. They would ponder on why they ever saw each other in the first place, but the answers are more than obvious.

On the arranged marriage front, two people meet each other, are more or less satisfied with each other's physical attributes, speak a few words, and confess being pleased. The rest is taken care of by the parents and the d-day is done with.

The couple slowly and steadily realize the incompatibility between them and that there is no common ground where they can meet. No wonder they never met before.

I feel that whether it's a 'love' or an 'arranged' marriage, as long as there is trust, mutual acceptance, understanding, a practical approach to assess each other's compatibilities and a conscious effort, to make the r'ship work, no matter how hard the effort...not only for now...but forever...there stands every chance that it will succeed.




I have always believed in emotions tested by time....not the momentary flames that ignite, burn and flicker away...but calm, composed, constant and always present.

In Rememberance

I offer a prayer for the dead - for all the grieving families left behind - for the people who lent their hearts and helping hands in times of great disaster and need such as this.

May God pour down his magnificent love on everyone--to ease the pain, comfort the sorrowing, and bless the kindhearted.

The road of life....

.... is never easy. It's filled with a lot of adventure.
Each of us have gone through odd and difficult times in our separate lives.
Each one of us is given a choice of various roads on our way - each unique and equally adventurous.
Choices may vary, but the destinantion is always the same.
You can decide on smaller destinations but the final destination is known to none and is always a mystery.
A road that looks beautiful in the beginning may end up being a dreadful forest.
A road that looks horrifying and is less travelled may actually lead to a lovely palace.
This kind of adventurous roads are what makes life excting and worth living.

Hope - it stands as a tiny ember but then its fire constantly burning – for you. Believe that in everyone this ‘hope’ burns steadily, albeit stubbornly. Hope wants you to believe that there is something greater than us, something to look forward to --- bigger than our small lives. Better and good.

True, one day all the odd and fractured pieces of our lives will all fall into place. Then we will begin to see that all was for naught but meant to complete the bigger scheme of things.

Holy Sins.

Have you ever realized that living through new shades and seasons of life, you somewhere along the path part away with something that can never be re-gained..your INNOCENCE. Isn't it strange that while running the rat race, we never pause to think of what we are leaving behind forever.

My values have changed, I've instilled arrogance, even a tinge of manipulation and diplomacy. But I yearn to go back to my roots. I want to go back to being a simple vulnerable girl who was capable of crying oceans when hurt. A woman who looked at the world in shades of black or white, right or wrong, moral and immoral. I learnt the line between the blurs as I grew up facing the realities of everyday life. Like each one, I never wanted to go through the transient phase of dilemma...the transition just happened. I learnt the rules of survival quite quickly.

Look around and you will find everything's available for 'exchange'. You can trade for everything. Everything is quantifiable, there's a cost benefit analysis that preceds every decision. I have started to think solely in terms of my gain and my pleasure. Emotionality has been superceded by Rationality. To the extent that I have put a price tag on my body and soul while chasing materialism shamelessly, and you know what...there is no sense of guilt. I keep in touch with a friend only if he/she does, otherwise I leave no stone unturned to tell them that I am as busy as they are. And yet, I don't miss friendships. I miss love. Despite my faith being dwindled, and haven witnessed enuf infidelity, there's somethng that makes me want to believe in fairy tales and happy ever after's. I wanna believe in the virtues of trust, committment, and companionship. The kind of romance my grandparents shared, one that survived pangs of seperation and distance, and was flaming.

I want to wipe away those blemishes, undo all that hurt and re-kindle the faith. I don't want to bask in succulence of momemtary pleasure.

Can I free myself? Can I go back being untouched? Unhurt?