Clogged.
There are times I wake up in the middle of the night up to the thought that the people I care about are no longer there with me.
Emotionally, I am feeling quite clogged from inside. It has been building up for quite some time now, nothing has helped in the least bit by recent events. Slowly and gradually, my abitlity to breathe has diminished to the point that I cud choke myself with my emotions. Then the feeling of being numb - to not able to reach out to anyone, to not be able to touch or move. It's then that I start wondering - what really went wrong? what is going wrong?, and I desperately look for a rope, or some hope, that I can grasp on to. And it's always in these times that 'other' mistakes follow - the ones that long term problems never get solved by.
My spirit's coming close to broken for a while and so is the body. If this is the way it goes, the situation would become unrecoverable. I think I have to be thankful for all those small mercies.
People you care are always there with you. May be they themselves been "under the weather". Things will change, you just have to stay strong and believe in yourself.
ReplyDeleteFrom my experience I know when things are bad they usually end up getting worse and I have noticed it myself. No matter every effort tried to make the situation better ends up in making situation more worse.
But still I feel there ray of hope somewhere lying like a silver lining in the sky covered with clouds. And you never know when they will change but they will.
There is something to think about where things went wrong. You always need to two people to get things going wrong. One can sit and think over it. One would know that things wouldn't have gone wrong if either one had thought in different manner .
Like in the earlier post you mentioned Love is "giving" for happiness of other person. I feel Love is about "mutual understanding". It's like even if you are at giving end, you feel like you are at receiving end. I think people fight more when they are in love with each other..No one is going to go and fight with someone for whom he or she doesn't care or with a stranger.
Don't take mistakes as negative term. You learn from them and sometimes we pay a tough price for it but its definitely a positive thing I feel. I have learned so many things in past couple weeks which I may have never learned otherwise.
I will just pray to God to give you all the strength to overcome the adversities in your life. You have all my strength to recuperate :-)
People you love are always with you.
Pleeeaaase Takecare of Yourself.
-AJ
.... When going gets tough, tough gets going :-)
ReplyDelete-AJ
Too much of attachment with the cared ones.
ReplyDeleteThe real person to be cared is inside u, if u get attached to it .....all bliss ...........
is that pic urs ?
Mr Noname/NoInitial
ReplyDeleteInteresting comment!
>Too much of attachment with the cared ones.
You can't quatify attachment when its related to family members or close friends.
There are few things one should not quatify.
>The real person to be cared is inside u, if u get attached to it
Person who get attached to themselves are self-centered, self serving, non-considerate.
Life is not that bad as you put it. Sorry if you have been through bad phase.
-AJ
To AJ
ReplyDeleteU never got the meaning of what i meant by " The real person to be cared is inside u, if u get attached to it "
U said "Person who get attached to themselves are self-centered, self serving, non-considerate. "
Dear u know people write of what they r.
Attachment related to anybody except the inside one is quantifiable bcoz its a negative thing. One becomes attached bcoz she is not in bliss with herself.
one feels clogged with herself so she starts looking for air outside, but the real bliss giver is inside u.
Senor Noname/NoInitial,
ReplyDelete>Dear u know people write of what they r.
>Attachment related to anybody other then yourself is negative thing.
Glad you answered it yourself.
I am very attached to people I Love. Sorry can't help becoz real person inside me is dependant on people around me. C'est la vie :-)
Thanks for taking time to reply.
-AJ
To AJ
ReplyDelete"I am very attached to people I Love"
:-(
U cant get attached to people u love, u cant love people u get attached
Nikita Im so sorry to hear this..I mean that u feel choked up by ur own emotions...
ReplyDelete**Then the feeling of being numb - to not able to reach out to anyone,
I feel that way too sometimes...but I always find my way back to happiness...I always tap on my happy self and ask 'hey mate I need ya tonight...'...and Im happy with myself once again :)
I hope u recover..I dun want u to be a broken spirit...cos I luv who u r right now. All the best Niki!
Keshi.
Thats very true. You can hardly love the one yoou are attached to, because when you are attached to someone all you are worried about is yourself, insecurites about self are common in attachment, and thats where concern for the other one many a times takes a back seat, when you are attached to the other, you are most worried about your pain when the other leaves. Love is not attachment it can not be. Love frees and attachment binds thats a difference. I do not think one can be attached to oneself either. One can love oneself though, thats important. you can love anyone else only when you can love yourself.
ReplyDelete-AA
Truly AA
ReplyDeleteKeshi
ReplyDeleteI've been trying hard to see the world through childlike eyes with a mind always seeking new wonders and adventure, a heart always trusting and believing. I am learning to enjoy once more a beautiful sunrise, the innocence and laughter of our children, the myriad colors of a rainbow, the pleasures of our friendships, the fun of surprises, and the assuring warmth and love of our families. Am getting back the ability to see the good and too pluck out the hidden pearls of joy sprinkled down the road of our life in this crazy world.
Thnkx for those kind words, mate!
Cheers.
Past Shapes our present. Thats very true. And our present shapes or future. Our past has shaped our present, does it mean our present is in control of the past ?? No just a thought.
ReplyDeleteYes if you can love someone and that love and concern is not goverened by any insecurities about the self, it truly is love, but probably not attachment, attachment probably is holding on to something, many a times why people hold on to things is because of an underlying insecurities.
The problem with our world is that we do not see anything in its true form. Love for example. Love as we experience it today is for some like experiencing hydrogen in water (H2O), for some others its experiencing hydrogen in methane(CH4), none is experiencing hydrogen, its experiencing hydrogen in some form. Love is like that, we experience x's love and y's love but do we experience love? Probably yes, because x's love is also love, just like water has hydrogen . . .
So our idealisation of love is too much of an idealisation, because love in elemental form does not exist. And so love with attachment is also love, love in the real worl love in our world, it sure is a menifestation of devine.
Bhagwad Gita talks about non-attached love as poision in the begining, and then the very nector of life.
So that invertendo always exists, what we see is true to us, what we dont see, may be true but we realise it only when we grow up to it, if we dont grow up to it, we dont realise it.
If one is asked to give up on a loved one, I dont think one should ever do that (irrespective of wheather it is attached or non-attached) for otherwise it wont be love. Now what one understands out of giving up on someone may however be governed by wheather one is attached or not. for one who is attached, letting someone go may be giving up, for one who is not, it might just be about giving space to the other one.
The bottom line is, LOVE IS, whether attached or non-attached, its always a good feeling. To the one in in love, love matters more than wheather it is attached or non attached. (What causes pain may be attachement, but thats a different story altogether)
-AA
ReplyDeleteI think one can not get rid of attachments, and one shouldnt even try doing that ever.That would be like escapism, its very easy to go to the jungle and say you are not attached. One can however grow up to a stage when one is not internally attached (one loves but not attached ) to someone, There is a relationship, but its not suffocating because one is free from with in. so there is an external attachment, and there is an internal love, and a purity, a purity because its free of insecurities. Getting rid of attachements is not possible, because the more you apply force, you find an equally strong repulsion and you find yourself even more attached, one can grow up to non-attachment however.
ReplyDelete-AA
ReplyDeleteOh yes, That's right. But do good things come out of love? or do they come out of attachement? Yes these are words people interpret differently, because i think they experience it differently. And there can probably be no single interpretation. What is harmful sometimes is the confuision of attachment to love and vice versa. :) They sure are not synonyms. are they?
ReplyDelete- AA
ReplyDelete***I've been trying hard to see the world through childlike eyes with a mind always seeking new wonders and adventure, a heart always trusting and believing
ReplyDeleteThats exactly the kind of soul I have too...I get disappointed each time...but I refuse to be fallen forever...I get back up and keep walking...
Keshi.
Keshi
ReplyDeleteThis is a BIG wide world and this a huge life with lotsa things in it. A lot of good happens and also much could go wrong at any time. Can you take a handle on everything? Never!
I think what we shud do is - just acknowledge the troubles, recognize them as a part of life, take them in your stride and consider them as a part of 'learning'. It's better that way than to keep punishing yourself over the misfortunes. Everything - good or bad comes to us for a reason and a sense of purpose (there was a time when I had some difficulty understanding that). But Nevertheless.....