Ganesh Chaturti Wishes.

Prayers that Lord Ganesha brings Peace, Happiness and Prosperity to your world.

Ganesh Chaturthi Wishes for all!

Rambling away....

From the kinda material that appears on this space, one would think there's not much running in my mind ---that is only if one considers a blog as a reflection of one's mind, if not one's life in general. But tha actual fact that is, there's a lot that goes in my mind and at any given point, hundreds of ideas are wrestling with each other for space, but the moment I try and pen them down...they are gone!...poof!

Not as much as I wanted to, but I admit that do not have the gift of the fingers. I can't ramble away. Anyway, I have decided to try rambling once in a while, and while I am at it, I ask myself, "What's the point to this"? And then I feel there is no point at all, I tell myself, "That's the reason it is called Ramblings".

Ramble 1

I am sensitive. All the people who know me will vouch for that. Poke me with a knife and I might recuperate in a while, but poke me with arbitary, boisterous, heartless words, and you've done the worst - atleast for a day.

Ramble 2

I've been maintaining this blog for quite a while where I jot down every attitude/behaviour of mine that I feel needs a change. The motive being that if I repeat the same thing again, and if it's already jotted down, it reaffirms my willingness to change. I firmly believe that "Do not get emotionally involved in an argument with anyone who a) are not close to you and b) are unreasonable, no matter how much you feel of the subject. Always maintain the air of "casual indifference". Sigh! I wud have been a happier person, only if I cud follow my own advice.

-----End of Rambles-----

Rambling is just not my scene or mebbe I have to keep doing it to make it better. In case, if you find my future posts a trifle different from ma previous ones, you know what I am doing - trying harder to ramble!

Cheerios.

Of special children and even more special parents.

The general sequence that follows in our society is Courtship… Marriage… Family, juggled appropriately with careers and ambitions. But planning a baby is a BIG decision. Arrival of a baby, dynamics within the family in general and particularly the couple undergo a complete metamorphosis. Unkowing feelings awaken in the new parents. Changes, mostly subtle inevitably creep into the husband-wife relationship. After all the demands of a new born and enormous. All this is the customary scenario when the new member of the family is born "normal". Can you imagine the profound effects that take place when the child born is handicapped.

So many problems being to surface from the moment a handicap is suspected or confirmed. That the disabled child will have extreme bearing on the interplay of emotional relationships is to be expected. The parents themselves, initially take a lot of time to come to terms with it. Devastating is the feeling that their child is not like any other. Coping with this reality is not only difficult, but traumatic.

Disability is an aspect that only few are familiar with. And no parent in this world would ever envision it as being a part of their lives. No one is ever prepared for this kinda eventuality. It is only something that we imagine happening to others, but not to ourselves. In such cases, most of the times, blaming the other for their misfortune creates a rift between the couple.

But with gradual realisation and time, parents do accept the inevitability of their baby’s condition. They are faced with yet another battle. How would people react? It is just not the reactions of their extended family that really bothers them, but the attitude of the society as well. They become too sensitive to different behavioural patterns, imagined or otherwise, of all the peoplr around them. Adverse, bizzare, thoughtless, arbitary comments, sometimes unintended, make them retreat back into their shells. They avoid social contact apart from the ones they are really close with. But doesn't the support from the people around you matter? Isn't the support and help of relatives, friends and society that contribute towards the eventual acceptance and rehabilitation of the child?

It's very unfortunate that disability and its implications are not fully understood by most of us. I don't doubt the general awareness. It has significantly grown. But do we really appreciate the stressful changes that change the lives completely of parents who have such children?

'Why me?', 'Why my child'?, is a phase they are left to battle out by themselves. There isn’t much we can do to relieve this aspect of their personal suffering. How many of us make an effort to not make them feel alienated? Do we really understand the magnitude of their confusion and vulnerability? Do we realize that their disabled child also needs love, care, support and warmth? Do we appreciate the strength of such parents who overcome their pain and sorrow and accept the reality of having a child who will always be different? It is only when such awareness spreads that a birth of a disabled child would not cripple the entire family....the day we'd believe that such parents are truly special.

By-laws of saying 'I do'.

There are advantages of having married friends - they put up road signs to acquaint you with the territory. I received a good stack of information that served as a well of learning, since I am travelling the same road, once travelled by them.

She started out by telling me that people marry for a variety of reasons. Some out of convenience or circumstance but most do for the universal thing called ‘love’-- which is the starting point and continue up to the peak when they decide to take the ‘plunge’. The usual ceremonies take place followed by a romantic honeymoon somewhere in the Caribbean, or some other exotic location.

"This is the short story of it - the long story, this is the beginning, niks".

Time does not wait for anyone. Time is a hard-driving taskmaster. Ready or not, it gets moving down that road.

I have this close-knit group of friends which gather occasionally for harmless girl-talk. The chat would run through all current issues of the day and a bit of sensational trivia of famous people’s lives. But talk almost always would zero down on bugs in marriage. Ha-ha, they compared as to who had the most bugs.

Was it always like that? No! It was never like this. They remember being in love— the bouquet of red roses, the box of chocolates, the whispered sweet nothings, the love songs, the 'punctual' romantic dinner dates, and the sharing of things. Everything was labeled 'ours'. If everything was so sweet and perfect, then what happened? 'We got married! That's what happened!, they'd all say. 'The flowers and chocolates stopped, we hardly spoke anymore, we hardly hear each other, he stopped noticing my new dress or my new hair style, he forgets anniversaries and birthdays, ignores my friends, and so on.

‘True colors; it’s only a matter of time’, they'd chorus.

'Why do people change after they are married?', I asked her.

'We get ‘road signs’ in life wherever we find ourselves in. Marriage is no exception, niks'. 'Marriage always cannot be looked through pink-colored glasses'.

She kept me abreast of the following by-laws of marriage:

Honesty: You must be able to "take it", if you ask for the truth. Sharing truth builds the bond, and is not destructive.

Flexibility: Every marriage has its own architecture, which inevitably changes over times. You may have to make efforts to add something new.

Privacy: Snooping/spying is irresistible. The invasion is as wrong as whatever "evidence" one may find.

Grace: The ultimate act of love is to let somebody "save face."

Forgiveness: Nowhere in life is this concept more tested than in marriage. You may need to forgive over and over again to stay together.

Idealism: Believe in marriage. Though we may call marriage a sacred institution, it is also an imperfect human contract.

Thanks, mate! I'd sure keep these 'road signs' in mind, always!

(Un)Lucky - No time for Sex!

Identity of my dearest, workoholic, climbing up the corporate ladder friend, married to an eqally ambitious batchmate-turned-husband has been camouflaged.

'Are you cent percent sure?'

'Yup. I am sure. We share the same year/month of birth; we both are 28, we both would trun 29 this year. And approaching 30 very sooon.

'Damn. I am scared. My biological clock is ticking away and I haven't yet reached a common ground with my husband on the baby topic'!!

'Speak to him', I said.

'What do u intend to do?', I asked further.

'Dunno. My husband refuses to touch me. He fears that I mite con him, and he is not prepared to shoulder sucha huge responsibility.' He doesn't understand that he can think of delaying it, but I can't'.

'You are at a good position in your career. Are you mentally, emotionally, financially prepared for a baby at this stage?', I asked.

'Forget the rest. Emotionally I am.'

Me: 'Only one solution. Seduce him'.

'How I wish!. Due to our respective hectic work schedules we hardly get to see each other. Forget getting into that act'.

Me: 'Why don't you guys plan a vacation. Check on when does a long weekend come and go some place.'

'Ummmm. Yup. Guess would have to do that.'

'Where do I start?'

Me: 'Lingerie. Let's shop.'

'Meet you at 6:00. Bye.'

Me: 'Bye'.

Happy Friendship Day to All.

When I was young, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend. On growing up I realized that if you allow your heart to open up; you get to see the best in many friends.

One friend's best is needed when you are going thru rough things with your man.
Another's best is needed when you going through things with your family.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, joke, or just be.
One to fight together,
One to pray together,
One to cry togther,
One to walk together,
One for your spiritual need,
One to share your love for movies,
One to be with in our season of confusion,
One - who would be the wind beneath your wings....

It may all be wrapped in one, but for many it's wrapped up in several. I thank God for friends. Those who honor intimacy, those who hold trust, and those who stand by you in times of trouble.

I thank God for the special bond we share, for the prayers we sent up, for the laughs, the tears, the phone calls, the emails, the shopping, the movies, the lunches, the dinners, the late night talking, the afternoon talking, all the talking and all the listening.

Someone once said that 'strangers are simply friends in disguise'. I agree. The bond of trust, honesty, sincerity, respect, and kindness shared and enjoyed in friendships, is what makes it so beautiful.

So whether you've been there for 20 mins or 20 years - I'll always love you.

To all Brothers.

According to Webster's Dictionary, the word 'sibling' means two or more people have common parents. It was sucha fateful day when this word came into existence - the day when secrets, privacy, peace and the fundamental right to the remote control vanished foreva.

Siblings hold a very strange place in our lives. They are people we declare we would be better off without and at the same time we cannot really imagine life without them. I do not have much to say about girl siblings but have a lot to say about brothers.

The term 'Brother' means a pain in the neck. I have an older brother. He's taller than me and his only mission of life was to discovery my secrets. An avid eavesdropper, he never knew the meaning of 'private', 'confidential' or 'individual'. I am sure he neva knew that these words ever existed!! My diaries, my cell-phone, my cd's and my books were always a fascination for him. I still remember the laundry list of instructions I received from him on my first day of college, "No bunking lectures", "No loitering arnd the canteen", "No going to discs", "Do not give your contact numbers to any one (he meant guys!!)", blah..blah..

But he would share his stuff with me, which is something I boast about.

There have been occassions when I did need my brother and always appreciated his company. Now when I think of it, my life wud neva have been the same if I didn't have my brother to share it.

My brother holds a special place in my heart and though I have never said this to him - I mean it. I think it's just that way with siblings.

It's Raksha Bandhan on 9th August. Happy Rakhshbandhan to all brothers.

This is what I call Lack of work syndrome!

It gets lonely staying at home. Especially for a person whose always enjoyed the social aspect of working with other people. You'd neva find me complaining about a co-worker who passed by my desk to chat - those breaks were always welcomed. On numerous occassions I roamed the office looking for an open ear. I love to goof off. I love to procrastinate. I love to talk (who doesn't?!). I had hundreds of opportunities during the day, in the office.

Now, I am only stuck to myself. I can goof off - I can read blogs the entire day, surf the web until my eyes burn, or blast my fav. music and dance around, singing on top of my lungs simultaneously.

Lack of connection is the most difficult part of not working. In my various office settings, I had access to helpful people who could answer my questions and offer me instant advice. I bonded with them -- some of my closest friends are people I've worked with.

And now, I have no one to consult when I'm at a roadblock. This post is dedicated all those things I miss about work and the things I don't!!

Things I miss (like hell!!) about my workplace:

1. It's people: It's true that there were times when eight hours of the day went by without me saying so much as a word to someone else. But I have seen and heard people walk by my desk dozen times a day. I shared time, air and space with them. It was nice. Now, a major part of my day is spent on seeing TV or in front of ma PC. Email is one of the ways of reaching people and being reached. There will come a time when I'd just go down for a walk for the crave of human contact.

2. The Girls: You get close to a group of girls when you fall on the same menstrual cycle. There is something special when you have to just look at each other to laugh.

3. Payday's.

4. The Beach: The beach is just five minutes away from my office. I loved the walk to the beach during the rains. I am glad I don't stay anywhere near it, or I wud have lived in it!!

5. All the Food Places: The area I worked boasts of designer shops, glitzy people, a few three star hotels and a famous Seven Star hotel. There are amazing little gems of restaurants and coffee shops.

Things that I don't miss:

1. Bad Office Coffee: When I had to choose between bad office coffee and none at all, I chose the coffee.

2. Drama. Don't think have to elaborate anything on this. If any of ma co-workers are reading this, you know what I am talking abt!!

3. Micro-Management: The feeling that someone is always looking over your shoulder monitoring your every move while you try to work was annoying.

So that's it. You guys have a nice day.