The gift of friendship.

Lonely hearts don't grow cold if you have that 3:00AM friend to talk with. I've been missing "this" friend lately. We've been friends for over a decade. The devoted one who I know is always there. The one with whom I've never felt like I'm sailing alone in the gigantic ocean. The one who would never abandon me if I say or do something that is inappropriate. But, sometimes closeness slowly scatters. We don't end up spending time with each other like we once did. It is unrealistic to expect friendships to stay intact as they are. This emotional struggle reminds me that life contains stages of many different journeys. With each new one, some friends may drift apart. Some will walk with you, some won't. Some move along a different direction, some will meet you at crossroads and pick up the friendship again.

Although, enough time has lapsed, you are still the first person I reach out to when I need a friend. To have a friend like you is relaxing into another soul and be welcomed in all that I am and all that I am not. Friendship between us provided me with a safe place to share in the experiences of life. It's a great gift knowing that you see as I do and understand me like no one does. I am extremely grateful that you walked with me on different parts of my journey. Thank you for making each stage so meaningful. Thank you for helping me become the person I am today. For nurturing, guarding and pursuing the friendship we share. For calling me without waiting to be called first. For listening between the lines and offering you heart. Above it all, for giving me the gift of TIME - the most treasured of all commodities. No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to thank you enough. 

When I look back the past few years, I see the most illuminating years of my life. For one, I became a mother to my now-four-year-old daughter. Four years of being consistently present in heart, mind, body and soul for her. There were some really hard days; little sleep, too many dishes, endless piles of laundry, and always a diaper to change. So many needs to be met each day. Days when I felt swallowed up by life. Waking up at dawn only to work my way through a busy day where there were not many hours in one. But it is all temporary - they grow up too soon, too fast. With the baby years now behind me, I slow down a bit, take a step back, center myself, trying to focus on those goals that blurred in the midst of all the commitments I made. Things I missed out on doing in all the chaos. Those simple pleasures in life I took for granted. Writing being one of them. It was an intimate part of me, foreplay of a sort. Making love amongst words was always way up in my list of turn-on's. Words that don't necessarily have a meaning or mark an impression. Essays that don't set a tone, give any information or set as examples. But, it's my little space where I shed every ounce of inhibition and pen what I truly am, what I really think. That's what I need to get back to doing. Blogging. Because I always have things to say, and my endless need to be heard hasn't diminished, yet. If I can't get online to post everyday, I'll say it nonetheless - to the lambs or any other receptive audience. So, it's homecoming for me, as I restart my journey in blogville again. See you'll soon.