Un-becoming who you are not!
"Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you." - Author Unknown.
"People wear masks. They hide their true self, even from themselves", I am being told. It got me thinking - there certainly is something about wearing a mask and pretending to be someone you are not. It changes the essence of who you are. There is a sense of freedom that comes from being anonymous. It's like walking into a masquerade party. You can fearlessly express hidden features of your personality. For that moment, the mask will make it so much easier to be yourself. But what happens when the mask is taken off? You are no longer anonymous, but naked and raw.
Being pretentious or wearing a mask for any length in time is hard work, it requires tremendous amount of energy to uphold the image you are carrying. It's not something that is born in a day. It takes years of nourishment for it to develop to it's current form.
Why do people choose to mask themselves instead of expressing their true self?
No one is perfect. We all have flaws, some of us are aware of them and some are not. The main reason people build a persona around them is because they are scared and insecure to show those flaws to the world. They fear from being "unacceptable" and may loose respect, friends and relationships if their flaws were to be uncovered. In the final analysis, we often wear masks in a pursuit to "fit in". We are hungry for people-approval. We perceive a set of "public behavioral patterns" in order to win "that" acceptance. It is true, sometimes people will only accept you in a particular way. But each one has it's own expectations and desires of how people around them should behave and act - so in an effort to please "some", you are neglecting "many" others. Wearing a mask also makes you hold ideas, beliefs and reactions that are conflicting and contradicting to your inner core values. It's really not a healthy way to live life.
Wearing a mask is going to create a distance between you and the people who really, genuinely care about you. Your mask will solve the primary purpose - of pleasing people. The problem is, they are the WRONG people. Someone out there will be impressed about your knowledge, your intellect, your work profile, etc., but ONLY because they are the ones complimenting that personality, and not your own.
Please note - Your social mask is not you. You will loose track of the person you are, and loose people along the way, if you don't shed it in time. There are people who love you for what you are - UNCONDITIONALLY. There is no fear of rejection, displeasure or misjudgment with them. There are people who understand and love the "REAL" you. People you can be honest with, shed every inhibition, people who hear what you say even before you say it. The kind of relationships that don't need a mask. People who listen and show they care in more ways than one, who empathize with your struggles, who encourage and offer support and who love you for who you are - without judgments and criticism.
So, UN-BECOME the person you are not. Reach out for those who love and accept you with genuine affection, and derive happiness in honoring you as the person you are, AND NOT the person behind that mask!
"People wear masks. They hide their true self, even from themselves", I am being told. It got me thinking - there certainly is something about wearing a mask and pretending to be someone you are not. It changes the essence of who you are. There is a sense of freedom that comes from being anonymous. It's like walking into a masquerade party. You can fearlessly express hidden features of your personality. For that moment, the mask will make it so much easier to be yourself. But what happens when the mask is taken off? You are no longer anonymous, but naked and raw.
Being pretentious or wearing a mask for any length in time is hard work, it requires tremendous amount of energy to uphold the image you are carrying. It's not something that is born in a day. It takes years of nourishment for it to develop to it's current form.
Why do people choose to mask themselves instead of expressing their true self?
No one is perfect. We all have flaws, some of us are aware of them and some are not. The main reason people build a persona around them is because they are scared and insecure to show those flaws to the world. They fear from being "unacceptable" and may loose respect, friends and relationships if their flaws were to be uncovered. In the final analysis, we often wear masks in a pursuit to "fit in". We are hungry for people-approval. We perceive a set of "public behavioral patterns" in order to win "that" acceptance. It is true, sometimes people will only accept you in a particular way. But each one has it's own expectations and desires of how people around them should behave and act - so in an effort to please "some", you are neglecting "many" others. Wearing a mask also makes you hold ideas, beliefs and reactions that are conflicting and contradicting to your inner core values. It's really not a healthy way to live life.
Wearing a mask is going to create a distance between you and the people who really, genuinely care about you. Your mask will solve the primary purpose - of pleasing people. The problem is, they are the WRONG people. Someone out there will be impressed about your knowledge, your intellect, your work profile, etc., but ONLY because they are the ones complimenting that personality, and not your own.
Please note - Your social mask is not you. You will loose track of the person you are, and loose people along the way, if you don't shed it in time. There are people who love you for what you are - UNCONDITIONALLY. There is no fear of rejection, displeasure or misjudgment with them. There are people who understand and love the "REAL" you. People you can be honest with, shed every inhibition, people who hear what you say even before you say it. The kind of relationships that don't need a mask. People who listen and show they care in more ways than one, who empathize with your struggles, who encourage and offer support and who love you for who you are - without judgments and criticism.
So, UN-BECOME the person you are not. Reach out for those who love and accept you with genuine affection, and derive happiness in honoring you as the person you are, AND NOT the person behind that mask!
Awareness is everything. One should not put pressure on themselves to change overnight, and be compassionate with themselves. Trust that if you set the goal of being more real, via the dropping of your habitual masks, you will be able to do this with time. And it will feel so good!
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