I ask myself, what is it that I want from life? Happiness, of course! Ain't that what we all ask for? But isn't happiness a very broad term? People can be happy doing a lot of things..what is it that I will be happiest doing? Should I start afresh? Professionally, I am happy with what I am doing, but there are times when I feel incompetent in my career. Not that I am lazy with my work, I am working harder and longer, it is just that it has become too mechanical. There is no more fun in innovating, especially when office politics gets the better of it, making appreciation a distant dream.



It's difficult to break away, once you start making a certain amout of money. 'S' keeps telling me "There are so many people who would do anything to be in the position you are in". Good job, good life, no responsibilities, no liabilities, and you do nothing but crib crib and crib...What the f%^& is your problem?



I wish I knew, Sigh....

Another weekend passes, too fast for me - I wish the rest of the week follows its cue.

A lot of people are taking advantage of the long weekend to head home/elsewhere for a break.

I would have left too - only if I knew where I wanted to be.

Regret.

It always happens that life works out pretty smoothly inspite of it all. I have this nagging sens e of having let things undone, it was probably a wrong choice made, the "if's and but's". But can it be possible to not feel the regret?



Regret - By Richard Le Gallienne



ONE asked of regret,

And I made reply:

To have held the bird,

And let it fly;

To have seen the star

For a moment nigh,

And lost it

Through a slothful eye;

To have plucked the flower

And cast it by;

To have one only hope—

To die.

For all of you who are passionate about reading, visit

http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml". U'd roll with laughter. Lol ... lol

Cheerio people!

I am trying to think something really significant and interesting to write, but only arbitary thoughts are making their appearance..like



Dinner tonite - Mom's away..what do i cook today?



Dress to kill - What do I wear to office tommorrow? My pink suit or black trousers (they make me look thinner :-)) with an off-white shirt.



Mobile tune - Have changed my mobile ringtone from MI2 to Lambada...Amar says it sounds sad and sick..but I don't care..I am forbiddingly stern on it.



'S' - He always gives me that benevolent smile everytime I meet him. Quarrels with me for not being in touch.The one steady anchor in my life...who has stood by me through good times and bad.



I don't know y I have written such a silly post...Tata for now....Have a sooper weekend...

'M' came to me and said softly, I want to talk to you. I wondered what was it all about. She sat down, looked long at her toes and said softly...."I want to look different"



I gaped at her and was surprised to say the least. I've know her for about 7 years know, she is so full of life, bursting with ideas and enthusiasm, loves clothes and dressing up as much as any girl of our age. Why was there a need to be someone else?



"Everyone tells me that I am dark, fat and have pimples...." she continued. "I want to lose weight and change the way I look." My heart went out to her. I spent the next 10 mins telling her that she can lose weight, by a judicious mix of exercise and good eating habits, and how it would help clear her pimples, but there was nuthing wrong with her skin colour or the fact that her hair were not silken and straight....



I told her abt another 'N', another frnd of mine..plump in a way that made kids snuggle upto her, one day someone taught her the "moves" to loose weight and with an angelic smile she said, "But I love the way I am, and don't want to change anything abt myself"!



As I got to know 'N' better, I realized that she had a rare gift of having come to terms with the way she looked, and making the most of it. She was a Model Co-ordinator, her jo placed her in the proximity of the thin and beautiful, she always managed to radiate a serene self esteem that showed she knoew her self worth.



'M' listened, and I saw her eyes lifting beyond the level of her feet, and I hoped that she would understand that what really matters is how she saw herself rather than how others saw her.



How very often do we see ourselves through other's eyes!? We see our flaws, not our best features. Even the plainest person has at least one really beauiful feature, and if we can find it and play it up, how different would our attitude in life be. We would stop wanting to be who we are not, stop wishing we looked like someone else!

We think that we can survive alone and can handle everything by ourselves. But the world is so important than what we think. Y do we depend on the world for appreciation, approval and assurance. How much of it do we actually mean, when we say "I care a DAMN"?

Phew! The end of a long hard day. I enter home, tired and exhausted. A warm bath to iron out all the kinks, and then deliciously clean I step into freshly laundered clothes. I put my feet up with a mug of hot coffee, chocolate cookies and a good book. Could I ask for more? Ummmm...actually yes, but as of now I'd just settle for this.

Sustaining a conversation is an uphill task. Not the kind of heart-to-heart variety that happens every day, the kind that happens once in months, the one that is not to be recommended or spoken of to anyone else. The same details, same ol' topics that have been spoken of time and again and with the same affable people, where participation is not considered as talking in the discussion, where the right words don't matter, where you don't need to bridge every awkward silence with bright chatter, where you can blurt and jabber about anything under the sun without fearing whether it is of any interest to the other. You GOT TO ADORE THESE PEOPLE. THANKS 'G' AND 'A' FOR BEING THERE!

I am feeling elated and unconquerable today. Like as if nuthing can go wrong...and even if it does, I DON'T CARE A DAMN! I can handle it..no big deal. A surge of power. Let it last.