By-laws of saying 'I do'.

There are advantages of having married friends - they put up road signs to acquaint you with the territory. I received a good stack of information that served as a well of learning, since I am travelling the same road, once travelled by them.

She started out by telling me that people marry for a variety of reasons. Some out of convenience or circumstance but most do for the universal thing called ‘love’-- which is the starting point and continue up to the peak when they decide to take the ‘plunge’. The usual ceremonies take place followed by a romantic honeymoon somewhere in the Caribbean, or some other exotic location.

"This is the short story of it - the long story, this is the beginning, niks".

Time does not wait for anyone. Time is a hard-driving taskmaster. Ready or not, it gets moving down that road.

I have this close-knit group of friends which gather occasionally for harmless girl-talk. The chat would run through all current issues of the day and a bit of sensational trivia of famous people’s lives. But talk almost always would zero down on bugs in marriage. Ha-ha, they compared as to who had the most bugs.

Was it always like that? No! It was never like this. They remember being in love— the bouquet of red roses, the box of chocolates, the whispered sweet nothings, the love songs, the 'punctual' romantic dinner dates, and the sharing of things. Everything was labeled 'ours'. If everything was so sweet and perfect, then what happened? 'We got married! That's what happened!, they'd all say. 'The flowers and chocolates stopped, we hardly spoke anymore, we hardly hear each other, he stopped noticing my new dress or my new hair style, he forgets anniversaries and birthdays, ignores my friends, and so on.

‘True colors; it’s only a matter of time’, they'd chorus.

'Why do people change after they are married?', I asked her.

'We get ‘road signs’ in life wherever we find ourselves in. Marriage is no exception, niks'. 'Marriage always cannot be looked through pink-colored glasses'.

She kept me abreast of the following by-laws of marriage:

Honesty: You must be able to "take it", if you ask for the truth. Sharing truth builds the bond, and is not destructive.

Flexibility: Every marriage has its own architecture, which inevitably changes over times. You may have to make efforts to add something new.

Privacy: Snooping/spying is irresistible. The invasion is as wrong as whatever "evidence" one may find.

Grace: The ultimate act of love is to let somebody "save face."

Forgiveness: Nowhere in life is this concept more tested than in marriage. You may need to forgive over and over again to stay together.

Idealism: Believe in marriage. Though we may call marriage a sacred institution, it is also an imperfect human contract.

Thanks, mate! I'd sure keep these 'road signs' in mind, always!