Tagged by Anonymous.

Me 10 years ago…



At this time, was preparing for 11th std. exams. Had absolutely no idea what to do with chemistry. Have always hated that subject eva since my school days.



Me 5 years ago...



I was at my first job.



Last year…



At this time, was coping up with the biggest earth shattering event of my life. I learnt how a few decisions or any problem of that magnitude can shake up your world ruining up your sense of security and balance. With trust shattered and self-respect put to task, had felt so disoriented. Happy that those times have past by.



Yesterday…



Promised myself to embark on a new life. Concentrating on "ME". I can say with conviction that I'm happy things turned out the way it did. Helped me grow as an individual. Thank God for these blessings.



5 things that drive me crazy:



Red Roses (I adore 'em).

Chocolates (especially Ferrero, Dairy Milk and Bounty).

Chocolate Pastries (Yum!).

Ice-Creams (all flavours).

Bags (I have bags of all sizes).



5 people I miss so much:



Arjun (my nephew. He's my dahling.)

Sheetal (One of my best frnds in college. Married and settled in Canada).

Dee (my best frnd from school. Married and settled in Baroda).

S (I put up a brave face and smile fondly at the fond memories of a time that has long gone. Hope blessed things come your way..each day).

Sana (She's away in B'glore. She is, the wind beneath my wings).



5 things I remember by heart:



All my fav. songs (in full).

Phone numbers of all the people whose call I dn't want to attend..eva!.

Phone nunbers of all my friends staying outside India.

DOB's of all my friends. (I am known to neva miss anyone's budday).

That day - 16th August 1999.



5 places I escape to:



Crosswords.

Any coffee shop.

Beach.

Any shopping mall.

On the couch.



5 things I hate when people do this:



Be late.

Fail to keep promises.

Lie.

Hurt.

Pretend.



5 favorite things in the closet:



Black denim jeans.

White Armani T-shirt.

Blue denim skirt.

Brown leather bag picked up from UK.

Watch.



5 things ‘love doing:



Cooking.

Reading.

Shopping.

Writing.

Travelling.



5 most valued intangible things:



Life.

Communication.

Trust.

Friendship.

Character.



5 things I enjoy:



Music.

Movies.

Blogging.

Talking / Chatting.

Fitness / Exercising.



5 bloggers I would like to tag…



Anyone can take this tag.....

Dedicated to one of my bestest friend.

Friends claim to know you better than you know yourself. You know what? They sometimes do.

"No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends" - Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and The City.

I agree with her. It's true. Some say you can get through anything if you truly try. But wudn't you be that much colder, more bitter and much more self-pitying? This is what friends do. They soften blows, offer (unsolicited, sometimes) advice and hold an umbrella over your head so you don't get hit by the rubble when your world collapses around you. They might not be able to help, might not even understand, but somehow, they make things better...by just being there.

And V is one of them. I have always marveled at the fact that our friendship has survived our disparate mindsets. We knew we are worlds apart, but were binded by an inexplicable connection; we can talk about everything under the sun, neve judging each other on the kind of life we lead. She brings outa different side of me and I have learnt a lot of things from her world.

I trust my life with her. She's one of the few whom I can call at 3:00 AM in a crisis and know that she'll be out the door and on her way to me even before I hang up the phone. She laughs when I am happy, has shed tears when I am hurt and calls me an IDIOT when I need to hear it. She's neva judged me and hears those things which I, sometimes am afraid of saying. She's a treasure, and as treasures go, they are rare. So is she. She represents that part of my life that I am not afraid of. SHE'S GETTING MARRIED AND MOVING TO CANADA.

I thank God for YOU. For

Running with me, pushing people aside, and getting into the gents compartment.
Making me eat pizza that tasted like cardboard, so my stomach wouldn't growl in the night.
Pampering me when I had a minor attack of flu.
Extending the time we spend together by two hrs, everytime electing to take the next train.
For making good lemon tea and delicious breakfast, everytime I stayed over at your house.
All the times we gosspied abt old classmates, your boyfriend-going-to-be-husband, relatives, old habits and new jobs.
All the times we teased each other incessantly.
Putting up with my addiction to have the fan on..no matter what the temperature is.
Jumping and yelling your guts out loud on the sight of a cockroach, also scaring the hell outta me.
Making a picnic out of a regula bus/train ride.

We've prayed together,
We've fought together,
Walked away together,
Met up with each others spiritual needs,
Have shopped, shared, hurt, heal and joked together.

We share a special bond. Which is unique to us. You have been with me, every step, every day ---I love you and u'd missed a damn lot!

Another lesson of love...from the deepest closet.

Life and it's experiences cant turn you into a philosopher.



Quote Claude Wooldridge in Louis Buss's Luxury of Exile:



The end of a relationship is the negative copy of its beginning. there is the same feeling of unreality as when you have just fallen in love, the same loss of appetite and sleep. The strange numbness, like the shock after an accident, is exactly the same. A relationship is a holiday from loneliness, beginning and ending in the same airport. The most awful thing about the end is that it clearly reminds you of the beginning, of the joy with which you set off, everything is the same, yet everything has been inverted by grief.



I wonder what makes people what they are. Is it fruitless to expect change in them? Are we destined to be born as an exception, amongst the general fraternity of people who are unemotional, cold, unfeeling and uncaring? I don't believe that. I am sure there are people in this world who think like the way we do. To whom sensitivity, kindness, care, concern, compassion and understanding mean just as much as they do to you. Then why is it that we neva come across people like ourselves?



I know of people who are in love and cannot, for some or the other reason, cannot declare it. It's sucha lousy situation to be in. My heart sure does go out to them. But there are a certain set of people I pity a lot. The ones who are loved, those who are thought of and are cared for. Those whose smallest gestures make for a smile in someone's life, those whose mere presence is sheer joy and whose voice is like music. They are the ones who have a place in someone's heart, but don't know what they have. Those who break the same very hearts that ache for them. Those who do not feel the hurt and see the tears that follow their unkind words. Those who are offered comfort and reassurances, but don't care at all. Those who are consoled when needed to lift their spirits, but who spurn them in an act of pride. Those who ask/demand tokens of love and the need to be made to feel special, but have a problem in accepting it.



These are the most unfortunate people. They are given a chance to be loved, but who will not and cannot.



People like flowers do come, the lucky one gets to be with you always, the others just wilt away. Outside of obsession, the real world is a very happy world. Because people change, time passes, the heart grows wider, and room is made for something, someone new. We value a person only after we have lost them. Nuthing lasts foreva. But till the time it is..lets make it beautiful and worthwhile. Lets give and make the most of the hearts that care for us.

I ate an entire bar of dark rich chocolate tday. Just like that.

Dear Calories,

You can stick on to me tday, thou will be burnt tommorrow.

I wud make my epitaph read as, "Calories today, gone tommorrow".

For once I am not cribbing.

And I also spoke to Dee after ages. Spoke to her of things I can only tell her. Girlfriends just ROCK!

Hope you guys had a lovely weekend.

When there is someone....

We all grow emotional at times, don't we? How wud it be to pour all your troubles, anxities, fears, problems and worries into the heart of another person? And finding a responding chord?

How delighted wud one feel to be secured in the knowledge that no matter what the world thinks of you, there is this one person who believes in you and that you can depend upon their judgement, love and loyalty. Fingers that entwine with yours, assuring of you being good, when there are fingers being pointed out at you. For every person who finds nuthing but flaws and faults in you, there is this one person who knows your worth and also makes you realize it. Who loves you overlooking all your flaws. That when I am blamed for doing wrong, someone to tell you that you learn from your misakes and that I wud have neva known it was wrong unless I did it.

I know I have someone to turn on to, when I need to discuss my ideas or express my feelings, besides my blog. That my problem will not be "mine", but "ours" after I discussed it and that WE together wud find a solution for it. My every gesture wud be acknowledged and rewarded with an equal gesture, not out of expectation but out of love, care and concern. That when my heart is heavy and the world beneath my feet has slipped away, the world wudn't care any less, but someone does care. That when something tragic happens in ma life, I have a shoulder to cry on. Someone who eases the pain and wud cry with me if need arises.

How emotional can one be? Isn't this the stuff that dreams are made of? We feel like a small child marooned on an island looking for a parent. Some find and get. Some dn't. The ones who find are just so God damn lucky. The ones who dn't find make peace with themselves. They learn to survive alone. They learn to trust and find love, comfort and solace in themselves. No one can be a better friend than oneself. You know what lies within you; you are precious. You can only be sorry for that someone who neva took possession of it.

Blog-O-Mine.

I've always been a very private person, except with the people who are near and dear to me. But since I created this blog, I've become more open about my views. I receive the greatest satisfaction when I read the comments. It's wonderful to know that people not only visit your blog, read your posts, have thought about what you have written and have taken out time to acquaint you with their ideas and opinions. It gives me great pleasure and I look forward to comments from people everytime I pen something down.

On my way back from work today, I was thinking....what if you were to market/promote your blog? What punchline woud you have? What woud be your USP?. Marketing has neva been my cuppa chai. I am one of those who wudn't know how to sell a heater to an Eskimo!! My recommendations can get anyone to be suspectible! For eg. If I were to say, "If you like reading, then visit my blog, and if you like what you read, keep reading". I am afraid, it mite sound like, "My blog's great, you need to visit once to believe it.". Huh! Just not me. Sounds so flattery!

This blog has become personal to me. I feel a sense of ownership. I am possessive about it and cherish it with all my other cherished possessions. I feel like a plant without being watered, when I dn't post anything on it for days. I wud neva want my this little plant to eva fade away. I aim to nuture it and make it a tree, with people who comment as my strong branches. Tho' I am not in the best of health these days, my energy wud neva fail me....

Has your life worked out the way you wanted it to? Do you know anyone whose life has worked the way they planned or expected? A segment of ma life, by sheer chance, has gone the way I expected it to. But it neva lasted forever.The other times when I insisted that it go the way I have planned, I wasn't confident enuf that it was indeed the right way it shud go.



I have neva met anyone whose life has gone they way they planned or hoped and who is content with the outcome. Apart from the privileged few who have in every way managed to get the desired outcome from life. Have you eva thought, Why do we pay such a high price in terms of being alive in lieu for the success of our plans and expectations from life.?



Life hardly ever works out the way we expect it to and majority of our life's plans turn out differently, if not completely opposite, than we imagine. Should you be grateful for this?



Life is ordinary, but it also is wild, adventurous and with lots of surprises. If we were to get all that we asked for, our intelligence would always be underdeveloped and we would use less than 10% of our mental capacity to be situated where we are today. Everything would be nice....but would that BE life??



We all have expectations and they differ for different people. Our ideal blueprint reads of high standards in life, which most of us would neva admit. Irrespective of whether they are reasonable or not, we cannot refrain from placing our expectations and neither can we plan our life.



Have you noticed how even when everything else in your life is perfect, you still tend to get hung up about certain things that are NOT right?



I have decided to proceed with my list of expectations, longer than Sushmita Sen's legs, with all passion, vigour, will and effort. I will simultaneously also learn to acknowledge the inevitability of their failure to turn out the way I desired. I'd wait to see what I am given, and will diligently accept wat is offered.



Oh well. Life.

Emotionally Stripped.

'V' is inconsolable. Just don't know how to comfort her. My best attempts seem artificial. She is staring at the ground like a ghost.

"Another r'ship ended, " she says.

"Damn, I neva learn from my mistakes. I keep always falling for the wrong guy", she cries out loud.

I give her the answers I've been told, but they lack conviction.

"You always jump into a r'ship". "You attach urself emotionally too soon", I say.

"How else do u love someone"??. "Isn't that the way to love"? she asks.

"That's NOT the only way, 'V'", I tell her.

"Now"?, she looks at me and asks

I have no answers. I am helpless too. What do I tell you? The answers that I know works only for the rest of the world and not for me.

"Where is the right guy"?, she looks at me and asks with red swollen eyes.

"He doesn't exist, V", I tell her. "'Cause there is no "RIGHT" guy"!!

"The concept of "right" and "perfect" is just all in the head.", I add further.

Priorities, shared dreams, the ability to understand and adjust, growing up together, doing things together are the main most important ingredients to a long lasting r'ship. The rest just fall apart.

"Just move on", I told her. That was all I cud advise her.

We live through self-fulfilling prophecies everyday and each moment of our lives. We manifest failure in some form and then hear us say to ourselves, "I knew, this was bound to happen". We can succeed if we sincerely want to. We make our lives a series of reruns and repetions. If we want to, we can make each day a brand new show.

Our lives may have had "more than your share" of trials and tribulations, but is there any point in sitting and sulking? Is it gng to make situations better for you? It is gng to get you out of misery? You have to LET GO! So what if the person you loved dumped you for someone else? So what if he/she neva cared for your feelings? So what if he/she took you for granted? So what if you failed in the past? It's the past.

V, change your expectations, your thoughts. Stop expecting disappointments and let-downs at every corner. Start living each day joyously. Put a smile in your heart, however shaky that smile may be. Don't be afraid of the past or of the future.

Every day is a new day and you have to make it a complete new start.

The present is for you to discover. It's completely upto you. Live it up, babe!

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don't have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.

-- Ann Landers.



I agree.

A time to be thankful....

We fail to thank God for the simple joys and pleasures HE gives us. Let's all take this oppourtinity to think of the things we do each day, the people we take for granted. You might have more reasons and things to be thankful for.



I am thankful for...



~Not getting all that I deserve, you neva know what I deserve maybe worse than what I got.



~To be able to see things as they might be than the way thay are.



~All my needs that are met, in the way different than what I had expected.



~All the times when I have been termed wrong. It's given me oppourtinities to prove otherwise.



~The best things that are free. I now have money to spend on other good things.



~All those people who love and care for me, in the way they can.



~All those good, bad and ugly memories of days gone by. They've strengthened me and helped me to be the girl I am today.



~All those choices I've made, good or bad, and the lessons I learned from the bad ones.



~All those extra pounds I put on. It only means I've seen very few hungry days.



~The next breath I'd take. It will give me time to post this.



~All you lovely people who'd spend time reading this post.