Emotionally Stripped.

'V' is inconsolable. Just don't know how to comfort her. My best attempts seem artificial. She is staring at the ground like a ghost.

"Another r'ship ended, " she says.

"Damn, I neva learn from my mistakes. I keep always falling for the wrong guy", she cries out loud.

I give her the answers I've been told, but they lack conviction.

"You always jump into a r'ship". "You attach urself emotionally too soon", I say.

"How else do u love someone"??. "Isn't that the way to love"? she asks.

"That's NOT the only way, 'V'", I tell her.

"Now"?, she looks at me and asks

I have no answers. I am helpless too. What do I tell you? The answers that I know works only for the rest of the world and not for me.

"Where is the right guy"?, she looks at me and asks with red swollen eyes.

"He doesn't exist, V", I tell her. "'Cause there is no "RIGHT" guy"!!

"The concept of "right" and "perfect" is just all in the head.", I add further.

Priorities, shared dreams, the ability to understand and adjust, growing up together, doing things together are the main most important ingredients to a long lasting r'ship. The rest just fall apart.

"Just move on", I told her. That was all I cud advise her.

We live through self-fulfilling prophecies everyday and each moment of our lives. We manifest failure in some form and then hear us say to ourselves, "I knew, this was bound to happen". We can succeed if we sincerely want to. We make our lives a series of reruns and repetions. If we want to, we can make each day a brand new show.

Our lives may have had "more than your share" of trials and tribulations, but is there any point in sitting and sulking? Is it gng to make situations better for you? It is gng to get you out of misery? You have to LET GO! So what if the person you loved dumped you for someone else? So what if he/she neva cared for your feelings? So what if he/she took you for granted? So what if you failed in the past? It's the past.

V, change your expectations, your thoughts. Stop expecting disappointments and let-downs at every corner. Start living each day joyously. Put a smile in your heart, however shaky that smile may be. Don't be afraid of the past or of the future.

Every day is a new day and you have to make it a complete new start.

The present is for you to discover. It's completely upto you. Live it up, babe!

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don't have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.

-- Ann Landers.



I agree.

A time to be thankful....

We fail to thank God for the simple joys and pleasures HE gives us. Let's all take this oppourtinity to think of the things we do each day, the people we take for granted. You might have more reasons and things to be thankful for.



I am thankful for...



~Not getting all that I deserve, you neva know what I deserve maybe worse than what I got.



~To be able to see things as they might be than the way thay are.



~All my needs that are met, in the way different than what I had expected.



~All the times when I have been termed wrong. It's given me oppourtinities to prove otherwise.



~The best things that are free. I now have money to spend on other good things.



~All those people who love and care for me, in the way they can.



~All those good, bad and ugly memories of days gone by. They've strengthened me and helped me to be the girl I am today.



~All those choices I've made, good or bad, and the lessons I learned from the bad ones.



~All those extra pounds I put on. It only means I've seen very few hungry days.



~The next breath I'd take. It will give me time to post this.



~All you lovely people who'd spend time reading this post.

Of Men and a "Proper" Good-Bye!

"How can you just hang up like that", I said to him.

"But you said "BYE", he said. "And a BYE means an end to a conversation, isn't it", he adds.

"Huh", I say and hang up.

I feel an "incompleteness" if I cannot end a conversation (via any medium) without a "proper good-bye". For me a "proper good-bye" means having to say some words or sentences with it and after it. Wimmen share some kinda delicateness towards a "good-bye" and more often than not, u'd notice that a conversation between two wimmen woud last much longer even after the actual good-bye has been said. They'd still have a lot to say even after that. :D

But when it's a conversation between a man and a woman (like between me and S tday), and the man who is not aware of the woman's sensitivity towards this matter, naturally bears the brunt..just like 'S' did. :D...

I said a good-bye and was wanting to say something more to him, when I am shocked to hear the line go dead. I hear the phone disconnect. He's not there at the other end. That beast..hung up after having said a good-bye and "assuming" that the conversation is over. Cudn't he wait for a minute longer?? How rich would his service provider get if he were to wait for a minute more? I called him up and told him that he was wrong in hanging up without a proper good-bye.

"Proper good-bye", what on earth is that, now??, he said.

"I dn't quite get it", adds further.

"Proper good-bye means NOT having to keep the phone immediately after I say "bye"", I say.

"I had something more to say but you just cudn't wait", I told him.

"If you had somethng to say, then y did u say "BYE" in the first place"??, he asks.

"God, wimmen are just so damn difficult to understand"!!, he laments

"Nopes, we are not". "You guys are just so insensitive", I blast at him.

"Ok. We'd do it this way, from next time onwards after u say "BYE", I'd ask, "May I keep the phone now", he suggests. "After you permit, I shall hang up"

"Brilliant", I say.

I can hear him smile.

"May I hang up, now"

"Yes".

"Ta-ta"

Men are from Mars, INDEED! ;-) :D

"We are friends and always shall remain", is what he told her.



The most heart-breaking line in the simple (or otherwise) history of break-ups. It came her way, too.



"Dammit, I can't just be friends with you"! She wanted to scream. "You know what I feel for you and having been through so much already, how the hell can you even think of something like that??", she wanted to ask him.



"Ok", is all that she mumbled. That's all she cud say. She didn't have any choice, anyways.



"I can't forsee anyone else in my life and that seperating from you would elude me", she wanted to tell him. She had so much to say to him. But it wudn't make him any difference. She knew that. He had made up his mind. He didn't want anything but friendship from her.



People who were in a binding r'ship earlier, the concept of them being friends after the r'ship is jeopardized, needs to be clarified to me. Even if they went out together (as friends), what would u call it? "Hanging" around or a date? Since the r'ship rights have now been revoked, what is the probability of them talking to each other? How often would they see each other? Where would they draw the line? How should she react when he introduces her to his new "girl-friend" or a potential wifey? So many complex situations.....which need simple answers.



Not wanting to make things worse between them or confront him, she never dared challenge him about it. He never feigned any moderate amount of kindness when he spoke to her, even for her sake. For all the times they shared together. Her misery compounded two-by-four when she discussed this with her new "friend" (earlier boy-friend), he resisted all her efforts, said things about the past that were not relevant and evidenced no particular interest in her. She couldn't bear the "chilling" out on the r'ship, that now had turned into friendship. She was too hassled and got deeper and involved herself too much into things he said.



And finally, he lashed the final N-bomb on her, there's someone else in his life. He talks about their r'ship, about their mutual understandings, their (in)compatibility, et al. Listening to him talking abt his g-f (read as would-be wife) made her feel something, she cudn't exactly place her finger on the emotion. Sadness? Jealousy??....He kept telling her a lot of things, things that her mind din't want to hear. He showed her his wud-be-wife's pics, spoke about their marriage plans..etc. All she could thing was, his wife.... once-upon-a-time she had hoped to covet that position in his life. It felt a lil' odd hearing him talking abt some other woman taking that position. She said, "I am happy for you" with tears streaming down her eyes. That's also what he expected out of her. "You now move on", is what he told her in return.



When the feeling sank in, she realized that she was not happy for him. She wanted him to be hers. She never wanted to be friends with him. She was not deficit of friends in her life. She always had more than friendship on her mind - when it came to him. Always had a garland in her head.



Which is the best way to handle a break-up? Certain set of people say that the break-up shud be clean. You then pick up the peices (read as debris), wave a good-bye, cut all ties and neva look back again. Some say that being "friends" make way for a smoother transition which reduces a fair amount of the pain. How? Can someone pls explain this funda?



How you deal with break-ups, according to me, solely depends on the factors involved for the break-up and the feeling of both the people during that time. If it is mutual, then yes, you can be friends. But can break-ups eva be mutual? If one feels for the other, the friendship would be at the cost of a major heartace for one of the 2 involved.



Wot do u say? Can 2 people be friends or want to be friends, after they've had a close r'ship.??

Looked for you in your crib....you were not there.
Searched for you at my bed-side...you were not there.
Called for you as I reached home from work..you did not come crawling to me.
No one to sing to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" today.
No one who'd sleep in my arms today.

I am terribly missing you.

'A' says my formulas on love are twisted. He says my fundamentals are complicated.!!! Just 'cause he doesn't relate to my "fundas", does it mean that they are illogical?? Bull-shit!!!



All (read as Most) of us have fallen in love at some point in time. Some might still be in love or will be someday.



Love and hurt, Love and Tears, Love won, Love lost, Stupid love, Love across distance, Young love, Old love, Romatic love, Eternal love....



I've grown up reading Mills and Boons and still read them sometimes. Have also heard intervies on love, people praising it and have had numerous discussions with friends and family in gatherings. What I have realized is that love is sweet and sour rolled into one. So strange! Love is all about getting pampered, to be cared for, being happy, feeling cute, adored, adored and nice. It's about bestowing on another the most precious gift we have to offer: joys, our understandings, and love for life. Then how can it ever be sour?



But it's not always mushy, sugar-and-spice and everything-nice. There is a point in time when you have to stop looking at your r'ship with rose-tinted glasses. Not always will you be on cloud nine or feel surrounded by fresh roses. Circumstances / situations come in our lives that the regard, love, kindness, respect and warmth just abruptly ends. The feelings turn sour.



But yet, we all behave in love the way people before us have and people after us would continue to do so. We lose sleep, appetite, money and comfort. We sail across seas, climb the highest mountains, promise the moon, dream the most wonderful of dreams, kick traditions, make changes that we normally wouldn't, adjust/compromise.



But we all still want to fall in love. Even if it has nuthing to offer us except bitter regret and pain. We keep looking for more. Don't we?



Well, fools fall in love in a hurry

Fools give their hearts much too soon

Just pay them two bars of stardust

Just hang out one silly moon

Oh-oh! They've got their love torches burning

When they should be playing it cool

I used to laugh but now I understand

Shake the hand of a brand new fool

--THE DRIFTERS

Crossroads.

How good is rebuilding old ties that were, at one point in time, deliberately broken? After all, if they were deliberately broken, surely there was a reason behind breaking them. Then why does a time come in life when you think of revoking the very same decision?



All of us act in a manner which would do nuthing but good to us. We never venture into areas that would do us harm or would be bad to us. Though there are times when we see sense and reality in different ways.



They say wisdom comes with Time. I can't really ascertain this statement, 'cause not enuf time has passed by in my life to make any statements like these. But I know, there are certain things that change with time and it is at these times that certain decisions need to be made. And also adhered too.



There are paths we cross, while crossing we realize that there would be no return journey. There would be no looking back. We transcend from our present into the future. The past, then holds nuthing but memories of the times gone by. Memories that will either bring a smile on your face or a tear in the eye. But they would still be an integral part of your life. We all go thru this at some point in our lives, where we decide to burn certain bridges only to move on. To discover what lies ahead of us (good or bad). A path that beckons us.



I too have my quota of regrets. I have had losses that hurt, choices that I would want to forget and thoughts that have been disarray. There was a point in time when the life had given me a very clear message that to stay would be to be caught up in a web that I was better out of. At times it gets difficult to face what you leave behind. It tears you apart. But why do we do it? Why tear our own self apart when we are unsure of whether the path we tread on would yeild anything good for us? We all face similar situations like these in our lives, in varying degrees.



I again see crossroads. And there is a path I have choosen. I don't know the journey. From where I stand today, things have changed. I don't regret anything of it. But I would certainly change some of the decisions I made, if I were given a chance. But would my changing one decision affect the others?



Donno....

Closed Doors...

Would life be easier if we closed one door and open another one? I wish upon Hail Mary that we shud have some magical keys that would just lock up our past to open it's doors for the future.

She can feel a sense of closure, for the first time in her life. This time the words were clear, unequivocal and the tone imploring. It's about time to put the past behind and time to get on with life. In many ways she had succeeded in overcoming the initial outrage and bitterness she felt over all that happened between them. But even after so many months, some nights she still woke up and lay sleepless for hours, not angry but infinetly sad, remembering that they were happy - genuinely happy for the time they knew each other. A story she tried to not let herself think of anymore. But when she touched that place in her heart where he still lived, the pain of it all still took her breath away.

His actions, words, statements, all of it made the closing easier. She had been liked. That's all she wanted to hear.. Now, she stands in front of her past with its heavy doors inching towards total closure. She feels peace with the decisions she has made, she has learned to live with the mistakes and imperfections. She has also decided to open those "Closed Doors" that she had closed for the last so many years. Things are changing. She deserves every bit of it. She deserves kindness, respect, regard, respect, warmth and a lifetime of love ahead.....

She is ME.

Paisa O' Paisa.

If you were given to choose between an extremely stingy (a person who spends tooo little) and an extremely generous person (a person who whole-heartedly spends), whom would you choose? Considering both the people involved earn equally and are well off.



I would go for the generous person over the stingy one. 'Cause I've realized that people who are stingy with their money are stingy with their emotions and feelings as well. For people like them - every little pleasure they can give to their loved ones or received from them is weighed on the money scale. I relate with people who'd blow their every penny for their loved ones..just to make them happy. For some this might not be practical, but I am sure u'd agree that a gesture like that would say something about the person and make you feel loved and special.



How would you react when you gift a dear friend, and all you get to hear, "I'd take the gift only if you were to take the money from me"!! Can there be anything more insulting?



I have only one thing to say to people like these:



No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr

Met A yesterday. After months. We've known each other for coupla months now. Known each other long enuf to take ceah other for granted, make promises and break them, knowing that the other person might understand sooner or later.

We deal with each other's mood swings, multiple moods with ease, an ease that we have perfected over the period of time we've known each other for. It's taken months of mis-understandings, of promising each other to neva tolerate each other's non-sense anymore, and then breaking the oath. It's taken months of fighting over our magnified differences, and then them being reduced. But they still continue to persists. We still argue over silliest of things and fight over whose right and whose wrong. It's taken months of being around each other when needed, of ignoring each other over IM's during a fight and eventually making up. It's taken months of saying the wrong things, and then pacifying each other, of realizing that saying "sorry" makes a difference and some more to realize that it's "feeling" sorry that matters most.

We have no common tragedy or suffering that makes us relate. We have no uncanny connection of the mind. We've also never had any of the chicken soup variety of life's experiences. We are normal people with a very normal friendship. Friendship, according to me, is not about having similarities, it's about the abilitiy of adjusting to highs and lows, accepting each other's indifferent and imperfect personalities.

Our friendship has not ended(hoping that it neva ends), but if it does (due to some alien invasion), I'll remain glad, with the cherished memories, of a friend like you.

Arjun would be leaving on the 17th. And wouldn't come back for a year.

He:

* Makes jerky, arm movements.
* Brings hands to face.
* Has strong reflex movements.
* Turns towards familiar sounds or voices
* Blinks at bright light.
* Repeats vowel noises, such as "ah" or "ooh"
* Smiles.
* Tracks objects with his eyes.
* Raises head and chest when put on tummy.
* Kicks and straightens legs when on back.
* Pushes himself down with legs when placed on a hard surface.
* Reaches for dangling objects, grasps and shakes hand toys.
* Recognizes familiar objects and people, even at a distance.
* Kicks legs energetically.
* Sits without support .
* Can follow a moving object for a 180-degree arc.
* Babbles and amuses self with new noises.
* Explores objects with his mouth.
* Communicates pain, fear, loneliness and discomfort through crying.
* Began his teething process.
* Keeps head level when pulled to sitting position.
* Opens mouth for spoon.
* Chews on objects.
* Gets on arms and knees in crawling position.
* Responds to own name.
* Admires himself in a mirror's reflection.
* Stands holding onto someone.
* Sleeps in my arms while I sing a "Twinkle Twinkle little star" to him.

Arjun sweetheart, u'd be missed a damn lot. Missed for the way:

~you whimper in your crib, to let us know that you've woken up in the morning.

~you take to the water like a duck; was wild, flailing about and splashing during your shower.

~you get cajoled into a new activity.

~you lift your hands for me when I leave the room.

He's my dahling. Incredibly well-behaved, adaptable, easy to handle, easy to predict and delicate.

How I wish I cud tell you what you mean to me and how much I love you.

Please don't ever forget me.

Was just thinking...

*If the crocodile drank all the water...where would the fishes live? There would be no place for those "machlis" 'cause those crocodiles drank all the water.



*If the Department Head's name was Dick...wud he be then called Dickhead?



*Why doesn't a walkman ever walk and a discman doesn't disco?



*Porcupines have such sharp needles. And so do Doctors. Are Porcupines supposed to be the Doctors of the animal world?



Did this post make any sense? Not to me atleast.



Khair...njoi the weekend.