(Ex) files re-opened.

Things were going all well for P. She had made a comendable comeback after the series of events that happened with her in the past year.



He was the love of her life. They held hands under the moonlight, stole kisses in public and when it ended, her heart broke. Literally. He had destroyed the innocence she loved so much about herself. She buried herself under a mountain of tissues and eventually shook off the grief and self-pity. She grew stronger with time...so strong that although she realised her own shortcomings she started to love herself all the more and become supremely confident around those she don't care two hoots about. Fast forward to now. One day he calls her and everything comes rushing back. Ironically, he was in the same state that she was in (that's what he claims!), and now he wants to get back with her....for good (as he says)!



Now when he wants to come back into her life, she's all set to welcome him in! All that the he did has been forgotten in an instant. All the pain inflicted is forgiven. And she's almost ready to begin a new start. Doesn't that mean she is giving him another chance to hurt her...YET AGAIN?



I am worried for her. It sounds so great on the surface, but I find something fishy. I don't want to discourage her, but I am cynical about encouraging her too. I want to xplain to her that things would never be the same again. There's always going to be a feeling of insecurity lurking around. Want to tell her that even if she does get back with him, the adjustments would still be the same. It's Act 2, Scene 1.



Chances are that both might realize they are better with each other than being alone, despite the problems. There might be more warmth; more efforts, deeper bonds and an extra dose of gentleness, until a new equation is arrived at. "MIGHT"............Too many "if's", "but's" and "mights".



So, should she or shouldn't she? Is a known devil better than an unkown one? Are there any positive sides to a second chance?

Hold on a second will you, Grandpa Time. I need to catch my breath

There are so many assaults on the senses and I want it to settle. There are times when I want to do nothing. Just want to laze around, unwind, chillax, on the couch with a good book and a hot cuppa coffee. It is restlessness which I have ascertained, it refuses to go away. It does not allow me to act. Kya karoon?

Ok.Way too maudlin.

The new tiny-tot in my life, Arjun. Just can't stop raving about him.

I am feeling restless. I am not being able to enjoy whatever I am doing, irrespective of what I am doing, even the stuff I like doing. When I am at one place, there's an urge to be somewhere else. I am trying to do different things, break routines, spending time with the people I love to be with, but it just ain't helping :-( . I am not even enthusiastic anymore. Why am I not being able to give my 100%?



On a lighter note, became an aunt of a cute lil baby boy. Have decided to name him Arjun.

Me, A and S sitting on the building terrace watching the lights of the city. Stars shine brightly. Thousand mosquitoes have made an ulterior plot to not allow us to sit still. One of the houses in the opposite building is playing "Bheegay Hont" from the movie Murder, loud enough to shatter windows. And for the chorus, a bunch of stray dogs yowling away...whatever happened to the perfect picture? *Sigh*

S: I am feeling melancholic!



Me: You, what?



S: m-e-l-a-n-c-h-o-l-i-c...down, depressed

Me: That sounded like watermelons with gastric problems!?!!



S: Shut up, idiot



Me: Ok, sorry..tell me..what happened?



S: I've done a thesis on men. And I want to tell you all about it.



Me: Is that the reason of you feeling that way? U shuld happy..ain't it?



S: Grrrr! Ugh!



Me: Ok, go on



S: Women misunderstand men. In fact, that's the reason we women think they are so good..because we don't understand them. They are simply rogues, really.



S: Men's fantasy have very little decency. We women are very innocent and we have no clue what kinda dirty mind a man has. He"ll be mentally stripping you naked while chatting with u. They are dormant rapists.



S: Men think that their possessiveness and domination are a proof of their tremendous love. Women are made to believe, 'If he is jealous, it means that he cares for you', HOLY CRAP!. Men don't differentiate between their car, furniture and their women. Most men love, which is devoid of respect.



S: Men have a life of their own. They never treat marriage or a relastionship as the end of their lives. Though it is an integral part, for both men and women, it is just a "PART" for men, however important.



S: I think we need to put them in their right place. We have been socially conditioned by society to make it a man's world and boost his ego from time to time.



S: Do you have anything to say?



Me: No, nuthing at all.



S: Ok, then put this conversation on your blog, all the other women bloggers in the world should also read this.



Me: Ok Ma'am.

My brother's going to be a daddy in a month's time. He shall spend sleepless nights, changing nappies, wiping tears, singing lullabies, watching toothless grins, staring at a beloved expressive face.



After some years, he"ll worry about admissions, teachers and homework.



The first baby in the family is going to be arriving..Yeh!Yeh! tra la la......

It's one year since we split
I walk and talk and get around
Lie down, stand up, and sit
I eat and drink and smoke and sing and
Live a little bit
Unhappy Anniversary
It's one year since we split

Some people are just horrible in nature and so we do away with them. And then there are some who enrich our lives by their very presence, so we strive hard to keep them. "We are two different people", he told me. "Our dreams, aspirations, needs and expectations are different, and hence there isn't much going on between us", he said with such asperity.

Me thinks the old proverb "Opposites attract" is true only in the begining of the relationship and two "different" people part ways when the rose-tinted glasses come off. Is a relationship all about "similar" choices in music, movies and your ideal Hollywood/Bollywood hero(ine)s? Wouldn't you talk it out, allow the person to change her/himself or try and change for your partner, when you realise you are drifting apart? MEBBE NOT! All, at that point, you would want to do is avoid the person as long as you can, and if the person is shameless and insists on working the relationship, you denounce them and pronunce the decision in the most crass way and marr the relationship, which was nutured with so much diligence, for ever.

I never wanted to end it in such an unpleasant manner, damn!, I never wanted it to end. I wanted to talk things over, work things out, but he was so austere that it couldn't. He only wanted to shut his doors on me, and I was so aghast, I ended up behaving scandalously, for the way he handled the situation, or rather left me all alone to handle it. I sobbed under the covers, in the dark, in the bathroom, in front of my friends, while praying and most of the time ‘alone’. I don’t remember a day when I haven’t cried, though every time the situation was different but unfortunately the person causing it was the same.

How funny it is, a person who is closer to you than anyone else, after some time, they just walk out of your life. You can't call them if you want too, can't meet them. You no longer have any right on them. There are times when I still wonder as to where did I go wrong, how can something that started out with so much promise wither into nothing? I was so used to having him around, I could not think about life without him. Perhaps, if I were given one chance, we could have made something out of it. In a clear, unequivocal and imploring voice he told me that I am not what it takes to be his girl, still rings in my ears.

For any relationship to sustain it needs a rock solid foundation. And needless to say this can be built with love, honesty, trust, commitment, respect. But I have moved on. Just that I still care. Care like I used to. Hurt like I used to. Not for me, for him. I always wanted to see him happy. Just that. What’s wrong with that...??

Broken dreams and drowned parades, lovers who just slip away
Guess I learn to live that way, it only rains on me
Seems to me there was a time, it used to rain on friends of mine
Now I look around and find, it only rains on me

Have been whiling away time all day, nuthing nice on television.. :-(. The gods of Cable TV don't smile on weekends.

DAMN!, What a one dimensional blog this is.

Why does it get so difficult to get over some peole? Why does he become the yardstick against which I measure all the new people I meet? Why is he always a cut above the rest and all the others fall sadly short.