Rain Drops.

It rained again today. I love rain. The aromatic breath that escapes the dry lips of a sun scorched earth as the raindrops fall and scatter. The feeling of rain drops falling on my face as I close my eyes, turn my face up, letting them caress my face, is blissful. I love sitting by the window with a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate) and watch raindrops weave intricate and sublime patterns on the window pane, as if writing poetry in their own language.



Rain drops make for a wonderful time pass when they drip slowly off the leaves. Each pearl drop of sadness or of joy intermingled with each other. Like moments of life..they fall and fall....not waiting for anyone..in a gentle rush to break into so many of the same and then reunite to become one.

The last of the drops are hanging off the leaves. they let go of each other to land on the puddle with a final plop. I stretch my neck out for one last time to urge a drop to fall on my nose tip..but it falls on to my eyes where dream starts, where reality ends a million images flash by. Pure unadulterated joy all over my face...so many yesterdays..... and the passing today.... I can see my own life passing by.....I want to ask it to stop but it is unreachable and untouchable. I stand helpless and the last of the drops fall from the eaves...... plop.

Spending time alone.

As strange as this sounds, I DO sometimes enjoy spending time alone. I enjoy my own solitude to unwind and decompress.


Solitude, I say, doesn't necessarily mean lonliness.

There are times when I sit by myself, look out with unobservant eyes to the distance before me or just sit still..for that brief moment the world seems more clearer and easier to perceive. Life becomes more defined. In the silence of my own pace and time, I take the opportunity to study on those big questions and issues without any interruptions. Nor do I need to take into consideration other people's opinons and perceptions which anyway don't comply with my own. So in my tiny 'world' where I am free to be me, free to pose many more questions, pursue new ones, free to poke at the wrong things happening, turn them around, test them, rethink and rewrite them. That's all upto me! :-). It's in my hands to throw up all the meories without having to listen to someone else's arguments or influence on the choices I make. So I need my solitude. I need to sweep away all those cobwebs in my mind and refresh myself. Away from the maddening crowd - in a place of peace and calm. I need my inner space to allow my ideas to germinate and to harness my fond dreams to take shape. I need time to connect with my soul.

With dozens of chores to run, I would often wail there's not enough hours in a day for everything. So that 'special' day I figured 'alone time'. I became so attached to it. Yes - it's my oasis, my blanket, my secured shell - all rolled up into one. It feels like 'heaven' when I'm there.

Honestly, people ..'Alone time' has never as fun as this for me.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

"Whatever you are, be a good one", quotes Abraham Lincoln.

A friend emailed raving about how things aren't working at all or the way she had envisioned. She feels that she's come up to this huge blank wall - facing problems about jobs, relationships and all other odd things life throws our each day. She thinks the magic word is somewhere out there and yet so well hidden - and if she finds it everything will be alright. But will it? If it were to be that way then I, my parents and other generations before them would have surely found that 'magic' and enjoyed utopia in their lives, then and even now.

No, it's not out there. We are such shortsighted people with minds 'out there'. It's always that the grass is on the other side of the fence, the big break, chance, opportunity is 'out there' with some other guy. It works that way for some. They go 'out there' to achieve their goals and come home with the prize. But to many it doesn't happen that way and hence the self-bashing because they don't get whatever-it-is.

We often undervalue what we have - what we are - who we are. Why? Why is it so hard to appreciate ourselves? Why do we think so low of ourselves and highly of others whose talents are similar with ours (or better)? Do the talents we have look better wearing their face than ours?

Say do you really know yourself? Do you know your strengths and your weaknesses? How do you perform under stress or in failures? Do you push yourself under the fire when there is no one pushing you? How do you work on your skills to grab that big fat break you're hoping for and which will surely come one day?

You answers to the above will show what you truly are. Whatever you are - a student working towards better grades, a clerk working on piles of paper work, a sweeper or other things you find yourself doing - BE GOOD IN IT. Always be good in what you are doing, at the top rank or at the bottom. Be the best of what you are and what you can be.

It's simple. A good attitude or character will always open up new opportunities and doors - the same that would be closed for people with small minds and twisted character. It's always the good job done by a good person that leaves an impression and finishes the race and wins the prize. So be that good guy, whoever you are and whatever you are. The good always wins where it matters most, always. So open your eyes to all the good people around you and see what works for them.

The magic is not 'out there' - It's in YOU. Believe in yourself and in your potentials. They are God-gifted and for a definite purpose. Just harness it. And you'll surely get there, one day!

Happy Holi.

Wishing all of you a very Happy Holi.

Not bidding Good-Bye!

I received a comment on my last post from someone asking me whether I have quit blogging.
No, I am not bidding good-bye to anyone from the blogger world. This has been a lovely journey and I thank each one for the wonderful messages you wrote on my blog and the warmth of your friendship.

I am currently travelling and hence have not updated this space. I will be back but at some time I don't know yet. This blog will surely remain open for as long as it may. This is your space too, afterall :-)

Love always,
Nikita.

How do you measure?

There's so much that goes in our lives that we often get lost in it. But no matter what there is a certain point where we come to a stop, and see how far we have come, what have we done, and where are we heading to. People say, "what matters is today" and one should not bother to look back. But, I think that's a lie. I know that in the dead of the night when we are all alone and things don't work the way we want them to, we think about it, we ponder, we do ask questions. We DO look back and we also DO think about tomorrow. As we stand in the present we wonder how do we measure the years that have passed.

How is it measured??

Tears
Joys
Laughs
Sadness
Bills
Report Cards
Sunsets
Daylights
Midnights
Cups of coffee
The life with friends
Truth that we learned
Bridges we burnt
Forgivness
Smiles
Everytime we said 'Thank You' or 'Sorry'
Or how we love?

Yes, It is measured in love. In how we love others unselfishly, in how we love ourselves and sometimes not, and in how we receive love or foolishly won't. Love is the measure of how we live our lives, no matter what.

How do you measure?

It rained here today.

On a day like this you don't want anything else

But to be held close and warm

Nothing said

Just lie peaceful in your arms.

Wishing all of you a very Happy New Year.

Mrs.Nikita
Feels good
It's so damn cold here. It is 7 degrees.
Here I mean USA
It can also be called deep-freezer.

It's not so cold in Mumbai. It is a blessed 21 degrees there.

16th December 2006
I got married

27th December 2006
Technically, I left my city behind.

...came across strangers who speak familiar words.

Thus it goes on..
New country
New people
AND the goddamn cold.

Me and my thougts in a different bowl.

Folks..its curtains for me! - For the time being.

packed suitcases
Emptied cupboards
Teasing sentences
Invites waiting to be posted
Calls to be made
Accessories in order
Relatives here
Relatives there
Choked back a tear

Shucks people… last few days of being a free bird…

Minds in a churn
Flowing with the tide
Time passes by
No ideas, No thoughts
Not a clue anymore
Just a handful of dreams
And a prayer or two

I am getting married on 16th December. I am going for a brief honeymoon. He is awesome, I truly feel blessed to have him in my life. My family is in love with him, he is very dutiful towards them. He is a harmonius blend of duty and emotions, me - I get carried away on either side!...he's reality, I'm fiction. I believe we have lots of scope for leading a life that truly enriches us and makes us happy and which would make us proud one day.

I used to ask myself, "What exactly is love between two people"? Does "I love you" signfy more the truth that I love you for loving me or that I love you just like that?. It's not like I don't believe in love anymore, it's just that I feel people misplace it for a lot of other things in their lives.

I don't feel burdened by anything anymore. I am at ease, feeling free and it's the best I have felt probably all my life.

And I wish people would stop worrying about how I am going to manage in a new city, new country, with new people, adhering to a different set of rules, making a new life.

“The cultured give happiness wherever they go. The uncultured whenever they go!”- Swami Chinmayananda

As much as I would want people to like me, appreciate me and say nice things about me, I kind of envy people who are so casual about things and hardly care about what people think or say about them.

Often we do things to impress others or because we feel that we deserve credit or recognition. And there are times we worry that our actions might invite disappointment(s) or wud be disapproved and which might create a bad name or opinion(s) about us. I mebbe generalizing here, but I am sure there may have been numerous occassions in each one's life when we thought (subconsciously!) that we are the centre of the universe and behaved as if the entire world depends on us, and what we are doing at that moment, and everyone is interested and keen in how we fare.

But I have come to realize that this world is too huge and complex and everyone is so engrossed in his/her life that whatever we do is of hardly any importance to the next being. Whatever we do at any time does not affect anyone but us. It's made me believe that we are a tiny dot in this huge cosmos. Life is an eternal battle; each one of us fighting and wanting to triumph. No one has the time and patience to look into another. I feel being aware of this truth is important in leading a meaningful life.

Each one requires recognition and success. But most of us live in anonymity and there are more failuers than success. Where does that leave me? Should I just care abt my own life and make it a success? But that's when I get casual and not care about others? Is this the meaning of our existence?