How do you write when there are currents flowing inside you that completely overpower your senses? Places, people, horns..it's the feeling of being empty, yet completely bombared with life, with all it's sounds and smells? It's like walking back home without thinking of single thing about my own life. Thoughts juggling in my head for a while and then just leaving me, letting me just be. Dejected and dissappointed faces staring at me, waiting to go home, staring onto the road.
How do people make the decisions they take? Do people really care when they say they do? Can anyone make decisions that are completely selfish? We don’t think at all before blatantly hurting the people we love. To what height of conceitedness are we ready to fall, before we hold ourselves responsible for the damage we’re directly responsible for?
I stand today in the midst of all this chaos, watching loved ones bleed as the knife is pushed deeper and deeper in..watery eyes, weary people stare at me and size me up...waiting for my insides to pass out..
I've spent my better years in trying to undo the pain that I never did cause myself..and yet when I see the same old phantom looming back into the lives of my loved ones, I do nothing except watch it come and wrench out the heart of my loved ones. I wannna run , for I cant watch them being destroyed itself, little by little…
It's about being still, about listening intently to each of the songs of the little birds, to chase a peacock only to have his magnificent view a while later. It's about knowing just how much you are loved, walking endlessly, watching people wither away, holding your best friend’s hand for one last time yet again and wondering why doesn't the world stop spinning and just rest for a while.
How do people make the decisions they take? Do people really care when they say they do? Can anyone make decisions that are completely selfish? We don’t think at all before blatantly hurting the people we love. To what height of conceitedness are we ready to fall, before we hold ourselves responsible for the damage we’re directly responsible for?
I stand today in the midst of all this chaos, watching loved ones bleed as the knife is pushed deeper and deeper in..watery eyes, weary people stare at me and size me up...waiting for my insides to pass out..
I've spent my better years in trying to undo the pain that I never did cause myself..and yet when I see the same old phantom looming back into the lives of my loved ones, I do nothing except watch it come and wrench out the heart of my loved ones. I wannna run , for I cant watch them being destroyed itself, little by little…
It's about being still, about listening intently to each of the songs of the little birds, to chase a peacock only to have his magnificent view a while later. It's about knowing just how much you are loved, walking endlessly, watching people wither away, holding your best friend’s hand for one last time yet again and wondering why doesn't the world stop spinning and just rest for a while.
very emotional post Niki.
ReplyDelete**Do people really care when they say they do?
I do and some others do too. But Im not sure abt everyone else. I mean it when I say it - I dun say it otherwise.
**It's about being still, about listening intently to each of the songs of the little birds, to chase a peacock only to have his magnificent view a while later.
true. but alot of us fail to do that...cos we r all competing in this rut.
Keshi.
niki i would say just devote yourself to god.have trust in him.he has got all the powers.when u see somebody in pain pray to almighty that he gives that person strenth.kavita
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